It has been a rough week. Mac has been busy. Sarah Jane and Nicholas both have runny noses and are not getting much sleep, so I have not had much sleep. Things have been misunderstood, misconstrued, missed. Mistakes have been made with little time to make things right.

So one night when the babies were both snuggled up in their beds and both sleeping a little easier Mac told me to come with Him to His study. He said it was not a request, it was an order. I had things to do, but I didn't complain. I knew we were not as close as we could be and that things between us needed sorting out. He pulled me onto His lap and He kissed me. He told me that it was important for us that I forgive myself for mistakes that were made, that I couldn't keep beating myself up over misunderstandings. I had been pretty down on myself the last few days. He told me a story about a girl who tried so hard to be pleasing that it was ok for her to make a mistake. He said it would make Him happy if I were happy.

We snuggled. We kissed. I touched His penis. He groaned. He pulled me onto Him and we kissed while He was inside me. We kept kissing until both of us were satisfied and then He made me snuggle back on His lap. It was very comfortable. He told me He had some emails to read and that I needed to be a good girl and stay still and quiet while He read them.

I was a very good girl. He would lean down and kiss me now and then. He let me play with His hair. I grew tired. He was still reading. I snuggled in further when He moved to change to the next email. I closed my eyes and dozed. He woke me when it was time to go to bed. He told me I was a good girl. He kissed me, my eyes, my cheeks, my lips. He said that we needed to go back to doing this when time is limited, for me to sit with Him once the kids are in bed. I agreed because I felt forgiven. I felt that things were right between us. Being with Him, having time with Him, even just quiet time, made me feel right again.

We are doing that again, me sitting with Him before bed, and it has helped me through this busy period.

Mac says it is helping Him too.

We were changing the sheets after a particularly messy bout of sex where we had both come more than once and I could feel what spunk Mac had left inside me trickling down my thigh. Most of it was on the sheets though, hence the middle of the night sheet change. I had thrown on the shirt Mac had taken off and He was in a pair of track pants He keeps beside the bed for such emergencies and for when Sarah Jane comes in and jumps on us in the morning. We were both smiling, both very satisfied. But I may have looked a little smug as well. After all, I had made Him make such a mess we had to change the sheets.

"You love it, don't you?" He said grinning across the bed at me.
"Uh huh." I grinned back at Him.

We stripped the sheets off and I got a new set from the hallway cupboard. I came back into the room and Mac was watching me.

"Have you ever been with a man that was just there to please you?" He asked.
I blinked. It was an unexpected question. "Yes." I said. And named my ex, a guy I had met at the same time I met Mac. Mac had been with someone else then too. "Why?"
He shrugged. "I just wondered. He just never knew what you wanted, did he?"
I smiled. "Well, no, he didn't. But even if he had known, he couldn't be You."

He grinned and we put the sheet on the bed, pulling it down to the base and tucking the elastic under.

"What did you think sex with me would be like?" He asked.
I blinked again.
"I mean," He continued, "did she ever tell you anything about sex with me?" He meant his ex girlfriend. I knew He meant His ex.

There was a time when she and I were friends, before I was with Mac, of course. And our friendship ended while she and Mac were still together. She set me up to hurt Mac when she and Mac were having problems, then she blamed me for doing what she set me up to do. I could forgive her for what she did to me, but because she made me hurt Mac, I couldn't bring myself to forgive her for that.

We were friends for a while though, and we did talk, but not very often about Mac. I think she knew I was infatuated with Mac (everyone knew I was infatuated with Mac, they just didn't tell me) and she didn't want to encourage it with girl talk. Either that or she just didn't talk about such things. Some girls don't. I tend not to, but my sister has no secrets. I know way more than I want to know about her sex life. (Mine is better. Maybe that is why I don't talk about it.) What Mac's ex did tell me was that Mac was difficult to please, and impossible to seduce. Sex was something He took when He wanted it and if He didn't want it, she could do nothing to talk Him into it.

I will admit, it did frighten me when we were first together. I was waiting for Him to ask me to do something difficult. Like what? I had no idea. I had never been with a man that was hard to please. They all wanted the same things from me. Sex. I can do sex! But what if I couldn't make him come? I kept waiting for it to become difficult. I kept wondering what would happen if sex didn't please Him. What would little Sarah Broden have to do to please this big difficult man?

I now think what she meant was Mac gets bored rather quickly and you have to be prepared to pamper and tease His lusts. I don't think that is difficult. I love finding things that make Him grunt. I find it easy to do. I just watch and listen to Him. He doesn't usually come right out and say what it is, He might just read me a paragraph from a book, or point something out from a magazine or a television show. And all I have to do is give it to Him, in fantasy or reality, depending on what it is. He often doesn't even realise He has given me the clue. He will say to me 'you always know what I am thinking'. I just smile.

He thinks I have bewitched Him sexually.

I told Him what she had told me while we tucked in the top sheet and threw on the quilt. He smiled.

He took off his track pants and climbed into bed. I took off His shirt and climbed in beside Him.
"She never knew how to please me." He said.
"That was mean." I said and I giggled and snuggled up beside Him. (Yes. I can be a bitch.)
"But it was the truth." He said. "Until I was with you, I didn't know what it was like to be really properly pleased. She just didn't know how so sex was something I had when I wanted to have it, and that was it." He was stroking my side, running His hand over my ass, pulling me closer to Him. "But you, you don't have any problem seducing me."
"I know." I giggled and kissed His neck. My hand was between us, touching Him.
"You seduce me whenever you want." His breath caught as my thumb slid over the head of His cock.
"I know." I said again and snuggled into His neck.

He pushed me onto my back and climbed over me. "Tell me what will make you come, Sarah. Tell me what will please you."
I smiled up at Him. "Your cock inside my cunt. Your tongue in my mouth. You grunting in orgasm. I want that."
"You are so fucking gorgeous." He said. "Just so fucking gorgeous."
I wound my legs around Him and wrapped my arms around His neck.

He kissed me.

We slept with messy sheets.

The last two days in a row I have made Him late for work.

I need to start using my powers responsibly.

I promise I will start tomorrow...

Maybe.

So Christmas is done and the New Year is here. All in all it was a good Christmas, tiring but good. I am shocked once again at my family's ability to be nasty to each other. My mother got so bad at one point that I just told her that if she was going to be like that, she could go home. It's not that I don't love her, I do. And it is not that she doesn't love us, she does. It is just that lately she has become the type of person who finds misery in other people's triumphs and joy in other people's failures.

Dad lost his phone a few days before Christmas. The phone had pictures of the grandkids on it. Irreplaceable pictures. Pictures he showed his friends at the club and complete strangers in shopping lines. He was devastated. He loved the phone, the first he had ever owned, and the pictures obviously meant a lot to him and it had a golf game on it that he would play when he came home from work. Mum thought it was funny. Not only did she think it was funny, she thought it was a great laugh to rub it in. You lost your phone, you silly old coot. All you pictures, everything, gone. And now you can't play the golf game when you get home from work. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

On boxing day when I was telling Mac how dangerous I believed that sort of behaviour to be, how detrimental it is to ones health to have the person you love take a sore point and push on it either in private or in public, making you feel not only like a fool but unloved as well, Mac shook His head and said why can't people just be nice to each other. I myself just don't understand it.

I actually enjoy being nice to Mac. It makes me feel good when I make Him feel good. Not just sexually either, making Him laugh at a witty comment or funny joke is also a wonderful thing. And being the reason that He smiles just, well, it makes my day complete. People say that our relationship is unbelievable, that we could not possibly be real because we are so 'perfect', yet really all we are is nice to each other. We love each other, so we want the other's life to be better. We want to make each other's lives better. That is both our goals.

I believe I am a better mother because Mac loves me. I believe I am a better person, a better sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, friend, lover, whatever else, because Mac loves me. He tells me that I make Him a better person. He says I taught Him how to love better. Because of the way I love Him, He has more love to give. Being together energises both of us. We don't try and drain each other. We don't try to bring each other down or rejoice in each other's failures. We spend our time together giving. When one of us falls down the other is ready to pick them up. When one of us succeeds the other celebrates the victory with them. Every thing we do belongs to both of us. Because we are a family. We are our family. And we should make each other feel like we can rule the world. At least, He can rule the world. I am content to be the one at His feet.

So on Christmas Day when my mother was being a little nasty, I told her to stop it or she could go home. I said it nicely, like it was a joke, but she stopped because she knew it wasn't really all that funny. Mac smiled at me, a 'good girl' sort of smile and we went on with an enjoyable Christmas lunch, a family lunch where everyone had a good time and remembered to celebrate each other's successes.

And I got my sister and brother to put in for a new phone, a Nintendo DS and Tiger Wood's golf game for Dad's birthday which is just a few days after Christmas.

He was so excited.

It made us all feel good.

So my wish for 2009 is for people to just be nice to each other.

It really doesn't sound like too much to ask.