On Christmas Eve my foot swelled up like a balloon. It was so sore I was wincing with every step and even though I had helpers, I just couldn't keep myself sitting down. I had things to do and I am stubborn about asking for help when I should. I could have stayed in the seat and asked others to bring things to me, but instead, if I needed a knife, I got up, hobbled to the drawer and got it, then hobbled back. I was told time and time again to just ask for things. I was told over and over to stay in my seat and when I got up to wash up, they had had enough. I got told on. Mac came into the kitchen and took the pastry sheet out of my hands and placed it on the sink. He went to the table, pulled out a chair and simply said 'sit'. I sat. He called me a good girl and told me I was not to get up for anything unless I asked Him. I sat in that chair for the next two hours while other people did the washing up and brought me the things I needed to finish the shortbread, puddings and the special lemon syrup and date loaf I make for my Dad. I stayed in the chair until I needed to use the bathroom and I asked Mac before I got up. He said I could go, but only if I came straight back to the chair. I did. He called me a good girl again, and kissed the top of my head before getting out of the women's way again. I thought it was funny that they told Mac on me. And no one questioned my obedience of Mac. Or the 'good girls'. My family just knew the way to make me behave was to tell Mac. People see things. It makes me smile.

Christmas day was wonderful. Sarah Jane thinks it should be like that every day. Nicholas didn't understand much. He just knew he was allowed to finally rip that pretty paper off things and play in empty boxes. Mac had fun putting Nicholas in the boxes and pulling him around while making race car noises. I think they both should get boxes next year. Everyone got too many presents and we had way too much food and it was all great fun. Today we plan on doing nothing. I think a nap might be the way to go, if we can get Sarah Jane to have one too.

This morning Mac and I were lying in bed whispering to each other while the babies were still asleep. I was being a little naughty, teasing Him, rubbing against Him, and finally biting Him gently on the arm. He scowled at me and told me no biting and I giggled and asked what He was going to do about it. He gave me a look and said if I did it again He would turn me over and fuck my ass. I grinned at Him and told Him that doing that would not stop me from biting him. He said I would stop while I was face down. I agreed that I would, but as soon as He let me up, I would bite Him again if it was going to get Him inside me.

"You have an issue with the juxtaposition of punishment and reward." He said.
"I don't have an issue with it!" I said. "But You get points for using the word juxtaposition in a sentence about sex."
He called me a smartass and flipped me over. I didn't giggle for long.

When He was finished, while He was still trying to catch His breath, I rolled close to Him and bit Him again. He growled at me and shooed me out of the bed. He told me to make Him bubble and squeak. I pouted and told Him that He treats me like a cheap whore.
"I do not!" He said emphatically. "I would never tell a cheap whore to make me food."
I laughed and climbed out of our bed.

I like to think He enjoyed the sex more than the bubble and squeak, but I know it would be a close call!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and I wish you all a relaxing Boxing day.

I love the holidays!

I don't have a lot of time. Santa Clause comes tonight and there is a heck of a lot of baking to do before he gets here!

I hope everyone has a day full of laughter and love.

Merry Christmas from Mac, Sarah Jane, Nicholas and me!

I am not even going to pretend that I will be writing more often now. With my life divided between children, Mac and healing, I just don't have the time I used to have. My foot is getting better, but because it has been a long term injury, I have pain across the front of the foot when I walk. The physiotherapist and the surgeon both think that because the bones are weak from lack of use, there is a chance I will stress fracture it the bones beneath my toes. This means I should not walk barefoot and the shoes should have a slight heel, to provide padding and support for the toes. But also because of the inactivity, my Achilles has shortened and need s to be stretched, which won't happen while I am using a heel. This is why recovery is expected to take at least 6 more months.

I am off the painkillers though, which means I need less sleep and I feel like doing more. Most days I will load the boy into his stroller and take the girl's hand and we will walk down the lane to see the horses. After about 10 minutes it starts to hurt in my ankle, another couple of minutes it hurts in my knee and we turn around before the pain spreads to my hip. The pain is mostly from just lack of use. When we get back I put the tens on my knee and my ankle and with ice and rest the pain subsides quickly. It's as much as I can handle right now, but with luck and perseverance, I will be able to walk further. It's just going to take time.

I also spend a lot of time swimming. I leave the babies with the babysitter and get dropped off at the indoor heated pool. I swim and walk laps for an hour, three times a week. I do this because all the physiotherapy in the world will not improve my foot unless I use it and in the water is the best place to use it. The surgeon and the physiotherapist both agree that swimming is the most productive thing I can do for my injury, so even when I don’t feel like it, I force myself to go.

I look back now, at the first entries in this blog and I see the Mac and Sarah that we were, young, hedonistic, and very much living in the moment. I see a couple of kids being as wicked as we could safely be. We are not that Mac and Sarah anymore. We have responsibilities. We have grown up a lot. We have grown together a lot. I am a wife and a mother, or a mother and a wife. I am sure the days of wild sex parties and multiple partners, of being shared with other men are gone and I don't miss them. We did it. It was hot, it was exciting, it was thrilling and scary and felt dangerous, but I am happy that now we get our thrills from each other. I am more in love with Mac than I have ever been and every day it gets stronger. I am more in lust with Mac than I have ever been and every day it gets stronger. He said to me the other day, when we were both naked in bed, both sweating, both trying to catch our breath, that our sex has never been hotter, never been more exciting and fulfilling and I have to agree with Him. Knowing Him has not made it boring. Neither of us are complacent. We still enjoy each other's enjoyment. The deeper we get, the better it gets and Mac reminds me all the time that we are only just beginning. We have so many years ahead of us and so much more to learn about each other.

I don't believe we will ever get to a point where we know each other completely. Life shapes and changes us a little each day. We are still growing up and I don't think that has to stop if you don't want it to. I think Mac and I will always enjoy learning more about each other. I think Mac and I will always enjoy each other.

I hope that never changes.

I don't think it ever will.