tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61217922009-11-02T13:07:40.033ZSubmissive ReflectionsKneeling before Him...Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comBlogger737125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-80167336129061224792009-11-02T13:06:00.001Z2009-11-02T13:07:40.042ZThings in the McBroden household are still up and down. Mac is still having a rough time at work and we have to remind ourselves to find ourselves again. I find that I take on His stress and the more stressed I get, the more I withdraw from my submission when really, when Mac and I are stressed is when we both need it the most. Yes! I said Mac needs it. He does sometimes. He needs me to be Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-75688280591864376262009-10-08T13:40:00.001+01:002009-10-08T22:24:40.916+01:00I have had the second operation and all is apparently well with my injury. After 8 weeks of non weight baring the muscles have wasted and I am suffering from what they call plaster disease. (Weakened bones, muscles, tightened tendons and ligaments.) I am currently learning to walk, for the third time in my life.I don't think I have told you this, but I had some bad luck as a child. I have been Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-43550988345794593862009-09-10T10:14:00.002+01:002009-09-10T10:17:13.315+01:00I think we have turned a corner. I think we may have found each other again. It has been a really rough few weeks on us both, but I think we might have made it through.We had a false start so I am a little wary of this change but Mac seems to be more relaxed this time. Last week, on Sunday night, Mac said we should draw a line under the previous week and just start again. I agreed that it would Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-28028838825431743082009-08-29T12:01:00.003+01:002009-08-29T12:05:46.850+01:00I would love to tell you all that it worked, that Mac and I managed to stay close while He was away and we haven't had that separation period when He came back, but it didn't. We had a fight while He was gone. It was a stupid thing, over a stupid thing I wrote in an email, a joke, I thought. Mac took it as a complaint and being tired from a night long flight and working without a break He snappedSarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-2646703167161854312009-08-22T12:37:00.002+01:002009-08-22T12:41:03.905+01:00Mac asked me how I could keep myself entertained thinking about kissing. I think He underestimates just how many different ways He kisses me.Sometimes, when He kisses me it is a simple little kiss. His lips meet mine and He pulls away, nothing more than a peck, a quick hello, a quick goodbye, a quick 'I love that you are here'. That type of kiss that makes me feel welcome, makes me feel happy, Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-81741635119679756632009-08-19T00:08:00.002+01:002009-08-19T00:11:28.156+01:00I am sorry. I know I have been gone a long time again. I had some minor surgery on my foot. It would not be a big deal, except I can't put any weight on it at all so I am feeling a little trapped right now. I have to hop on crutches even moving about the house. It is easier not to move much. I have been this way for 4 weeks now. I have 4 more to go. Then I start physiotherapy. Yay.Mac has been Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-5656540679282262032009-07-17T13:31:00.002+01:002009-07-17T13:34:46.717+01:00I am sorry that I haven't written for a while. Mac has been keeping me busy with submission. We found a way to fit it in around the children, remembering that it is an important part of us. We came upon this memory in a roundabout way, starting with Mac receiving an email from an ex-girlfriend whom apparently wanted to unburden herself about their previous relationship. (Yeah right. That is why Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-43062971765394778362009-06-24T08:45:00.001+01:002009-06-24T08:47:41.037+01:00Mac is home safe and there is a slight distance between us. Mac says He feels it too but it is ok, He can wait me out, because I always come back to Him. I am not quite sure it is just me. I feel distance from Him too, but I am never sure if it is a reaction to how I am acting, or if I am reacting to Him. It can quickly spiral like that. The trick is to stop it, to stop reacting and start lovingSarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-61804485686409903682009-06-18T12:35:00.002+01:002009-06-18T12:41:51.352+01:00"Sarah!""Mmmhmmm?""Fuck.""Mmmhmmm.""Christ. I love it when you do that. Do it again.""Mmmmm.""Fuck. FUCK."I shifted a little. My knees were a little uncomfortable. Mac was sitting on the couch, His bottom on the edge of the couch, His cock and balls over the edge. I did it again."FUCKING CHRIST SARAH. You are a fucking sexy bitch."I giggled and looked up at Him.I lifted my breasts in my hands Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-45572491452043536382009-06-09T14:05:00.001+01:002009-06-09T14:07:22.048+01:00I keep having this dream, well, a day dream, a fantasy, which has ended up in my dreams. Sometimes I feel so vulnerable, so unprepared for the things life throws at me that I want to retreat into submissiveness, I want to use it to shield me from things. I can't of course. I have to face the world like every grown up living in the world. I have to stand up to it, smack it when it needs smacking, Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-44527289655743580662009-06-03T07:49:00.002+01:002009-06-03T07:54:31.286+01:00The other day Mac and I were in bed together, talking about making out. He was asking me about high school and if I had ever tossed anyone off during school hours and I told Him that I had not, that during school time we were restricted to making out in the basement with other couples around. He asked what I meant when I said making out. I said it was high school making out, kissing with tongue, Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-78616959294372813572009-05-20T10:44:00.002+01:002009-05-20T10:48:11.951+01:00We have come through a sexless period. Why? I think it was a combination of getting back to reality and a little bit of holiday blues. Mac was so busy with work that we hardly had time to talk, let alone be sexual and I got sad due to other things going on and suddenly we turned around and the intimacy and sex was gone. It is funny how it does that, how if we are not feeding the intimacy and lustSarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-89253653897031347882009-05-17T11:03:00.002+01:002009-05-17T11:19:03.398+01:00I was sitting in the car yesterday, in the passenger seat while Mac was driving. We were coming home from lunch. He had taken me out because he wanted some time to talk grown up stuff without little interruptions. He wanted time to talk to me because I have been a little sad of late. It's not because of any major reason. There have just been some little things bringing me down. So we had talked Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-29072634363520466442009-05-04T11:27:00.002+01:002009-05-04T11:35:30.459+01:00I went away overnight. I stayed with a girlfriend, for a girl's night, as she is getting married next weekend. A group of us had a stay in girl's night, watched some movies, had some fancy drinks, ate some fancy food and did some teenage type sleep over things. It was great fun, different, but it was the night that the bride-to-be wanted it to be. She isn't the type to want to party hard.But I Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-39267225838204072502009-04-27T14:16:00.002+01:002009-04-27T14:19:56.759+01:00We are back! We are all holidayed out. Isn't it amazing how tiring holidays can be? I am not sure how Mac can handle being back at work today. I need at least another day's rest to get over the holiday, but of course, Sarah Jane and Nicholas have had other plans for me. They only get tired when they want to be tired and not a second before!It was lovely, sleeping in, afternoon naps, swimming! (I Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-79045998984388883392009-04-14T12:17:00.001+01:002009-04-14T12:19:35.512+01:00We leave tomorrow morning. I can hardly wait, though the packing is not proving to be fun. Why is it the littlest of us needs the biggest suitcase? Mac is happy with some t-tshirts, some shorts, and a pair of track pants in case it gets cold. I need a few more clothes, a dress for going out, a few skirts, some tops, some swimwear and a few pair of shoes. Sarah Jane needs more clothes again, Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-48774343920649083682009-04-05T12:17:00.002+01:002009-04-05T12:32:26.072+01:00One day while Mac was home and I was dressing, I grabbed a pair of panties out of the drawer and pulled them on. They were the type of panties Mac likes on me, skimpy, lacy and the type of panties I like to wear, stretchy and comfortable. The trouble with stretchy lace panties is that the lace weakens over time and this time was the last time I would pull this particular pair on as my thumb went Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-14521305996366282752009-04-01T00:23:00.001+01:002009-04-01T00:26:01.223+01:00So He came home, but only for a few days before He had to leave again! He isn't really enjoying this job right now, but with the times as they are, there isn't much chance to move on, so He has to keep leaving us for now. One more week and then He will be home for a few months. We are taking some time to go away just after Easter, a couple of weeks of swimming, reading, napping and playing with Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-91584637497844165142009-03-24T12:43:00.001Z2009-03-24T12:45:55.660ZI miss Him. It's just a few days, but I miss Him. I wake up in the morning and I feel less rested because He is not there. Before He left, we both felt very close to each other. "Never been closer, have we?" He said. I agreed. And since He has been away, since He kissed me goodbye, then came back and kissed me again, we have continued to be so close. I get excited when He calls. I get to talk to Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-62866574458621679292009-03-16T07:22:00.001Z2009-03-16T07:46:58.891ZA few weeks ago, I found a dogging website. I was surprised when I read about it. I didn't know.Dogging has nothing to do with dogs. Apparently dogging is going to a place, a public place, a well known place, often advertised on the internet, to have very public sex. They are usually car parks, near public parks, so somewhat secluded. Couples park there, and have sex with each other while other Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-1363951366843619162009-03-13T14:00:00.002Z2009-03-13T14:19:11.050ZI write out the dark stuff. I write it out, clean it up, read it. If I like it enough, if I am comfortable enough, I send it to Mac to read. He decides what to do with it. I guess it is kind of good for me like that. I tell Him and then what happens with it is out of my hands. I say that I guess that is a good thing for me, because sometimes Mac will use it against me and sometimes that is reallySarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-51478362427756492552009-03-08T06:39:00.001Z2009-03-08T06:41:25.107ZI have been writing. I have been writing a lot. I have 12 pages written of a story which I am not sure is any good, but it is just spilling out of me so I just keep writing. I haven't stopped to read it yet. I can never get distance from something I am writing while I am writing it. Once it is done, I need to leave it for a few days so I can see it objectively. And then I have to get Mac to read Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-87720497894383880622009-03-02T07:31:00.002Z2009-03-02T07:37:19.430ZMac called on Saturday morning. He went away Thursday evening and He isn't back yet. He should be here any time now. I know He is on His way. But on Saturday morning while He was in another country, on another continent, He called me, because He missed me and because He knew I would be missing Him.It started out as a good conversation, a loving conversation, a sexy conversation. We talked about Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-49895933280586692472009-02-25T11:49:00.004Z2009-02-25T12:08:34.494Z"You will do it." He said. "I told you that I want you to do it, and that is all you need to know."She looked up at him from her submissive position. She was naked, vulnerable, on her knees with no way to protect herself, but she had decided she wouldn't give in. This time she knew she wouldn't give in. He couldn't make her do something she really didn't want to do."No." she said, clearly and Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121792.post-62941743748075837462009-02-22T08:45:00.002Z2009-02-22T09:33:04.527ZSome stuff!I know some people were disappointed in the last part of Angel. I am ok with that. You cannot please everyone all of the time. Heck, I can't even please Mac all of the time! I do try though, so that counts. I like writing Angel. Mac likes me writing Angel. Whenever I send him a part of it, which is less frequently than I would like it to be, He calls me Angel for the next few days. I Sarah McBrodenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14347022181422271197noreply@blogger.com