Kneeling before Him...
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Friday, December 12, 2003
I have a story about the first time I told Mac I loved Him. This is inspired by wench's comment on yesterday's post below where she shared the first time she said 'I love you' to her Majesty.
Just over two years ago I had just split with a long-term boyfriend and Mac's relationship with His girlfriend had finished with a lot of unresolved issues. W/we were talking on O/our own one night, discussing the how hard it is to move forward from a relationship when the other partner doesn't want to let go when Mac told me I was in love with Him. He told me I had been in love with Him for months. I was shocked. I was not in love with Mac! How could He say such a thing? He asked me if I could have anything in the world, anything at all, right now, what would it be? And I suddenly knew He was right. I was in love with Him. I told Him I couldn't tell Him what I really wanted because if I did O/our friendship would change. He kissed me on the cheek and told me I was lovely and He left.
I told a close girlfriend what Mac had said and she smiled and said she knew. I was shocked again. How could she know when I didn't know? Apparently everyone knew, it had been a great topic of conversation when Mac and I were not around. 'What is she going to do?' 'What is He going to do?' 'Will they get together?' I was horrified that everyone knew except me!
I went home and wrote Mac an email about how wrong He had it and that I wasn't in love with Him. When I saw Him next He said that there was no need for me to have done that, He knew the truth perfectly well. I was embarrassed and ashamed and in the end I said to Him that I would only tell Him this once, and I said 'I love You.' I told Him that I wouldn't moon over Him and I wouldn't get mean with Him and that I expected O/our friendship would go on the same. He told me that things were messed up for Him and if He felt the same way about me the timing wouldn't be right, but that He would look after my heart until I asked for it back. He also said one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. 'Having you love me is the nicest thing that has happened to me in a long time.'
O/our friendship continued to be close. W/we had a lot of respect for each other. Then I started seeing the 'dom' guy and Mac and His girlfriend worked things out and they moved away from O/our friends to try and make it work and W/we just fell out of touch. Except when my relationship broke down, Mac let me cry on His shoulder, and when the next one did too He held my hand again and when I decided no more relationships for 3 months He teased me that I would fall in love within two weeks. It was 9 months later before I admitted to being in love with another man. Strangely enough, it was still Mac. In all I waited 15 months to hear Him say 'I love you' back to me.
And to think, He says I have little patience.
Thank you wench, for making me remember that. I am missing Him awfully. We have not spoken for 48 hours due to time differences and all night flights and full days of meetings.
Something quick I was thinking about last night. When I became Mac's I disliked oral sex. It really didn't turn me on at all. The thing I did like about oral sex was the fact that it didn't turn me on. It meant that when I sucked His cock, the only pleasure I was getting from it was His pleasure. I told Mac this after the first time He had held my head to take His orgasm. He said that He would remember that and try not to take advantage of the fact that I would do this to please Him. I told Him He had better take advantage of it often or I would not be a happy girl.
The first time I ever sucked on Mac, as He was about to come He told me not to swallow. He filled my mouth to overflowing with hot semen and then completely surprised me by kissing me and taking it from me. He pushed me to my back and knelt between my legs and while He looked at me He let His semen fall from His mouth to my clitoris. Then He licked me and I came almost immediately.
For weeks afterward I would masturbate with that image in my head. I would see Him watching me while His semen dribbled to my cunt and I would come and come and come again.
I think I need to ring His boss and tell them it's time for Him to come home.