Kneeling before Him...
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Monday, December 01, 2003
I have to say a HUGE thankyou to Bacchus at Erosblog for his much appreciated encouragement and for my 15 minutes of sexblog fame. I am still grinning.
It made me think about what Mac gets out of O/our relationship. Mac has always said that He is dominant, but not 'A Dominant'. W/we don't have rules, He doesn't give orders, and if I do call Him sir or master it is done in absolute cheekiness and likely to send me into a fit of giggles.
In saying that He doesn't give orders, I should add that sometimes, rarely, He does insist I do as I am told. These occasions usually occur as I am on the verge of becoming hysterical about something. At those times He will take complete control until I am calm and able to think clearly. He does this because I have an enormous ability to do myself great damage and He will not allow me to hurt myself.
He is, of course, very dominating. People notice it about Him immediately. He is the guy that is centre of attention at the party, the one that people look to for approval, and the one that people want to notice them. He is self-confident, (read that as arrogant), intelligent, witty, and an outdoors sportsman to boot and I have seen the mood of a room change just because He has walked in. (Can you tell I adore Him?)
So what is it He gets out of my submission to Him if He has no need to control me? I have asked Him this and His answer is that it is something that I need, that I am not happy without, and He enjoys my happiness. He likes to fill my needs, as much as I love to fill His pleasures.
He has had sex with un-submissive women, He has enjoyed sex with un-submissive women, and He has enjoyed relationships with un-submissive women. He doesn't feel that a woman has to be submissive to meet His needs. So why does He enjoy me so much? To put it into the words of Mac, 'I don't need a cold beer at the end of a hot day, but damn, it makes the day a hell of a lot better when I have one.'
I would have to say that one of the most intense sexual experiences that He and I had together had nothing at all to do with control, or domination or submission. All it had to do with was U/us.
We were lying together on the bed in the middle of the afternoon, talking and laughing and watching the clock as W/we were expecting people over in an hour or so. He reached for me and pulled me over Him and I gladly took Him inside me. I always love the idea of making Him come, and doing it just before having friends in the apartment would be just delicious. I would be able to smell Him on me all afternoon.
W/we made love, kissing, caressing, just enjoying the feel of each other and when He could tell I was about to come He asked me to wait as He was nearly there too. Two more strokes and I was whimpering and He said 'fuck it, come for Me and I will be ready next time'. I came, and suddenly He did too and I giggled and He shook His head at my delight and pulled me too Him. He stayed inside me and moved enough to keep Himself hard and before long I was ready to come again and He held me close while I did. Then He came and again He stayed inside me and W/we both came again.
I was breathless and totally caught up in Him, as He was in me. W/we turned so that I was beneath Him and I wound my legs around Him and tangled my fingers in His hair and W/we kissed and kissed and I loved Him so damn much I thought I would burst. I came again and He came, then I came and He did too. I was amazed, His body would tense and shudder in the midst of grunts and growls and His cock would stay hard and inside me and He was coming as much as I was and W/we were both lost in each others pleasure. I don't know how many times I came and I don't know how many times He came but W/we were still very caught up in each other when W/we heard voices outside.
O/our friends had arrived and W/we both dove for clothes, Him cursing and me racing to the bathroom to clean up. W/we stayed very close to each other that afternoon, almost always touching, the connection between U/us still very strong.
After everyone had gone He told me that had never experienced anything like that before, He said it was almost like He had become a part of me and could feel everything I felt and me coming was enough to make Him come too. I have never ever known a man to be able to come as much as He did that day.
It hasn't happened for U/us again since. Sometimes I curse the friends for turning up when they did. Other times I think it was a good job they did show up, or W/we might not have come up for days.
Then again, would that have been such a bad thing?