Kneeling before Him...
Creative Commons License.
Cunning Linguists Journals
Yes Master BDSM Bedtime Stories Toplist
BDSM is Love
danae Within Reality
Daze Reader Sex News Blog
ErosBlog: The Sex Blog
Gloria's Oversexed Mind
Mistress Matisse's Journal
my scratching post
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
I keep saying that I used to submit to Mac before I even knew what submission was but I have never really elaborated on this. I thought I might explain this a little today.
The first time I met Mac, it was at the end of a very long and very stressful day. One of my friends knew Him and introduced U/us. He started to tease my friend and in the process dragged me into it. I was tired and a little cranky and His words, although a light tease, really got to me. He saw that I was upset when I walked away and He followed me and asked if I was ok. I told Him I was just tired and He smiled at me and told me to go home and go to bed. I nodded and said goodnight, and did.
The second time I saw Mac I was talking rather crudely with a male friend of mine, being quite vulgar. Mac come over, heard us talking and made a comment in disgust and walked away. I was horrified and tried to talk to Him but He just said He really wanted nothing to do with that kind of talk. I never spoke in that manner again.
For a while after that Mac had little to do with me. If I saw Him while I was out He didn't notice me and I would shy away. He knew me to be an outgoing sort of person and thought that I would sulk when He showed up because He would always become the centre of attention. It wasn't until I found a quiet moment and asked Him to please stop ignoring me because it made me feel invisible that He realised that perhaps I wasn't quite as confident as He thought I was and He did His best to acknowledge me after that.
There was a night Mac and I were talking and watching some girls in the bar. They were swearing and yelling and pounding each other on the back, making sure the whole place was watching them. They were hitting on men and being obnoxious and after watching them for a while Mac said, 'Don't ever feel like you have to act like a man for attention, I much prefer to be around women who just want to be women'. I stopped trying so hard to hold people's attention after that, and I discovered that people preferred to be around a more relaxed and feminine Sarah than the girl who was always trying to be someone else.
There were more things, little things, like learning the rules of His favourite sport and reading books that I knew He had read so I could hold a conversation with Him. I can look back at O/our friendship and see all the things I did to get His attention, to keep His attention and to please Him and the thing that amazes me most is that I felt relief at being allowed to do each of these things. I wasn't changing to please Him, He was just giving me permission to be me. No wonder I was in love with Him.
It didn't stop once I belonged to Him. He hardly ever gives orders, He is more likely to say in passing that He likes something, or something interests Him and I will bring it too Him. There are times I get it wrong but it never upsets Him. He will just tell me that although He did not like what I did, He was pleased that I thought I was pleasing Him. He always made me feel safe in whatever new things W/we were doing. Maybe this is what gave me the courage to get a Brazilian wax.
I had overheard Mac mention to a friend that He was enticed by the bikini lines of lingerie models because they were always waxed. Mac's birthday was coming up and He was going away for a couple of days the week before it. I assumed that the waxing might be best done and given a day to rest before anyone come near me so having Him away seemed like a good idea. So I had it done the day He left.
I told Him that I had done it before He got His flight home. He went quiet on the phone and I had a dreadful moment where I thought that I had done something wrong. Then He told me what time He expected to be home and that I should be waiting for Him without panties on, and of course, I was.
There is something ever so sensual about being licked on bare skin there. His tongue felt rougher somehow, or maybe it was just that I was more sensitive. He would lick the skin around my cunt until I was begging for Him to touch my clitoris, and then He would make me cum and go back to licking around my cunt again. It took days before He got used to the way it felt and I really didn't mind letting Him feel it. I loved to jerk Him against me too, holding His cock so that His semen would spurt hotly onto the skin.
I have been getting waxes for nine months and I have to say it hardly bothers me at all now, apart from a little tingling just after it is done. Gosh I do adore walking around without panties afterwards. I can't help but smile to myself, like I have a naughty little secret that no one else knows about.
I have an appointment today.
I am smiling already.