Kneeling before Him...
Creative Commons License.
Cunning Linguists Journals
Yes Master BDSM Bedtime Stories Toplist
BDSM is Love
danae Within Reality
Daze Reader Sex News Blog
ErosBlog: The Sex Blog
Gloria's Oversexed Mind
Mistress Matisse's Journal
my scratching post
Monday, December 08, 2003
I think maybe I over simplified a few things in yesterdays post. I should have pointed out that I do not deal well with confrontation and it is a natural reaction for me to submit under anger, especially from the people I love. Mac knows this and I think it is why He has been more bemused than angry at any tantrums I have thrown.
This way of submitting is not always a good thing. It has been taken advantage of and abused in past relationships. The girl who submits to anger is often the one that is wearing long sleeves to cover the bruises and making excuses about how clumsy she is to explain away the things she can't hide or the skinny girl that loses more weight because she is screamed at for being fat.
Mac didn't yell at me, or raise a hand to me. He never has in anger. I knew He was angry, and I automatically submitted. I knew I had done something wrong and He wanted to know why. I explained the best I could and W/we talked about it. Things were back into perspective for me.
I understand that people are wired differently and the way I react to things is not the way someone else would react. Nor is it the correct or best way to react. It is only the right way for Mac and I, U/us. I hope this makes things a little clearer.
I have said before that Mac and I have known each other for four years, and O/our friendship was close, W/we knew each other pretty well by the time He decided to make me His. It really was His decision, I had offered myself to Him the year before, but the timing had been wrong for Him and W/we drifted apart. Even through the time apart if I needed a shoulder to cry on, Mac would lend me His. He told me that I had given Him my heart to hold and that He would look after it for me until I asked for it back. I never did.
The night He accepted me as His took U/us both by surprise. It wasn't planned by either of U/us and happened so quickly that by the time I got home I really wasn't sure it had happened at all. W/we left a friend's place together and He walked me to my car. He told me He had had fun with me all evening and I smiled at Him. He kissed me then, a slow gentle kiss that had my toes curling up inside my shoes. It was the nicest I had been kissed in a long time. He told me to bare my breasts and offer them to Him and I gasped and bowed my head and did as I was told without fuss or bother. I slid my hands beneath my breasts and presented them to Him whispering, 'they are Yours'. That was the moment He fell in love with me. It surprised Him as much as me and from that moment I have been His. He sent me home alone that night, He had to pack for a trip and I think W/we both needed some space to take in the change.
One night that He was away with work I sat here feeling lonely and I thought about that night and I did something completely girly, then I wrote to Him and shared it with Him so that He would know I was filled with thoughts of Him. He is away now for a couple of days and I thought, well, here is what I wrote:
She stuck her feet up on the end of the bed and pushed the rocking chair back into a reclining position. Slowly she unbuttoned her shirt letting the cool air play upon her exposed skin.
Her breasts ached with lust. 'Suffused with sex' He would say and she smiled softly at the beautiful words He used to describe her. Carefully she eased each breasts from the bra that had held them snugly all day. She slipped the bra off without removing her top completely, a trick that baffles boys who have trouble getting bras off in the easiest of situations.
She studied the soft mounds of flesh and the pretty pink circles that crowned them. Her nipples were already firming into little peaks, a reaction to being removed from the warmth of her clothes.
She trailed her fingers over the softest of skin and felt the tiny shivers of pleasure travel deep into her body, enjoying not only the touch of her fingers on her breast, but also the feel of her breasts on her fingers. Her body shuddered with the feelings she was causing to arise.
She ran her fingertips lightly over the tiny birthmark that rested on the top of her left breast, half way between where the rise of her breast started and her nipple. It was a little brown mark that had always been there, the only imperfection on them. She had hated that mark as a teenager, thought it was an ugly blemish, but she had grown to understand that it was a unique part of her and as such it was often the first place on her breast to be kissed.
Her nipples had become quite firm and raised and she rubbed them across the palm of her hand. 'Mmmmm' she murmured softly and lightly pinched and tugged at both of her nipples causing her vagina to clench. She grinned quietly and wondered just what He was doing right now.
She put some oil in her hands and let it warm slightly before delicately massaging it into her breasts. They both felt fuller and heavier than when she had started but she had known that would be the case. She felt her juices leak into her panties and she smiled softly at the way her body slipped so easily into a state of readiness. One word, one look, one thought of Him and she was prepared to welcome Him unconditionally inside her.
She pressed her well-oiled breasts together and imagined His cock peeking out at her from between them and how His spunk would land hotly on her face and she giggled with delight at the wickedness of this thought. She kept her hands tucked under her breasts and allowed her head to bow.
In the softest of voices she whispered to Him as if He was there with her.
'I love You, my Male. They are Yours.' She smiled again. She knew that somehow, He had heard.