Kneeling before Him...
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Tuesday, December 30, 2003
I woke this morning next to a gorgeous Male, One that I love and adore. I snuggled in next to Him and watched Him sleep the sleep of the innocent and I wondered, not for the first time, how He could just switch everything off when He falls asleep. He doesn't toss and turn and He never has a thing called a bad night. If I am angry with Him He can fall asleep just as easily as He can if W/we have just made love. The only time He has any trouble at all sleeping is when He is horny, and then He just lets me take care of that and all His problems are solved.
He actually looks at peace with the world when He sleeps. I have never seen myself sleep, but I doubt I look as childishly innocent as He does. I do not have that switch off mechanism that some people (men?) seem to have. I dream, I toss and turn, I lay awake for hours listening to the ticking of the clock and the sound of the wind in the trees while worrying about anything and everything I can think of. Mac thinks I am nuts. You can't cure the world while you are tired. I know He is right and yet I still lie awake trying to figure out just why something didn't go according to plan and how I can make it work better next time.
The last few days have been a nightmare for U/us. A lot of miscommunication, over-tiredness, dealing with family that all feel they can improve O/our life and total boredom at listening to people talk about people W/we don't know while smiling politely and nodding in understanding. Mac was wading through everything I was telling Him and trying to sort out exactly what problem I was having and how He could fix it. It was kind of hard to explain it when I didn't know what it was myself.
Somewhere amongst the presents and the people and the expectations and engagements, W/we forgot to take the time to be U/us. The further I got away from feeling submissive the more uncomfortable I felt and so when Mac asked what was wrong, I bit at Him instead of talking to Him and W/we started on a spiral down. He put up with my angst for two days before He warned me that it was starting to piss Him off. I could hardly blame Him, I was angry with myself as well.
Last night He cuffed my hands behind my back and forced me onto my knees. He slid His cock into my mouth and told me to make Him come. I submitted. I licked Him and sucked Him and got Him close to orgasm then I gripped His cock lightly behind the head with my teeth and ran my tongue over the head while He came. I was a dripping mess when He was finished. He took His cock from my mouth and used it to smear His semen over my face. I looked up at Him and told Him exactly what I was thinking.
'I belong to You. Use me as You will.'
He dragged me to O/our bed, and He did use me. I am aching in so many different places. When He woke this morning and saw me watching Him, He smiled and told me I was a good girl and I please Him.
I think today will be a much better day.