Kneeling before Him...
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Saturday, January 03, 2004
On Boxing Day, W/we spent the day with relatives, way too many to think about. The men played pool all day, the women sat around talking about the men and the kids played with the large amount of Christmas toys they got. I chose to spend most of the day on the floor playing with assorted Lego and changing dolls clothes and watching Mac play pool.
I did wander back into the family room in time to hear the women discussing bisexuality and I hung around to hear the outcome of the conversation. The gist of it was that bisexuals are just greedy people who want to enjoy both worlds and are too immoral to make a choice and stick too it. I had to bite my tongue to stop me from laughing. I wondered if they realised what they were saying.
Is sexuality a choice we make? I am unsure if it is. Some of us are geared to like some things, and others of us may find them disgusting. As I said yesterday, my fantasies of being dominated and punished go back further into my childhood than I would care to admit here. If it was a choice I made then it was one I made before I knew what choices I had.
In the same way, my first tongue kiss was with another girl. I think it was more opportunity than anything else, boys didn't want to kiss, and girls did. There was no thought of it being wrong, or making choices or anything else. It was sexual, I did have feelings for this girl and I felt the kiss deeper than I have felt some of the boy kisses I have had but it was a one off thing, just an experiment and we moved along.
When it comes to partners, I don't think I am greedy, and I do make definite choices. I am quite picky. Men disappoint me easily and although I tend to flog relationships to the death, at the end I can look back and see how little respect I have left for him. (Hindsight is a wonderful thing.) Therefore the men that I choose to have relationships with have to be stronger, smarter, wittier, and dominating, or at least appear it.
Women on the other hand have to be feminine and soft and gentle and sweet. I do not like loud raucous women that act like men, or even women that want to dominate me. Nor do I like women that want to submit to me, I would have to role-play to dominate another woman and that would just be strange.
In saying that, I know there are women out there that like to dominate men, there are men who enjoy being dominated, there are women who like to be dominated by women and there are women who want to submit to other women. Good, I say. I love the diversity of the world and the diversity of its people and if it makes you happy, I am the last person who would want to judge you. Whilst these may not be what I enjoy, just like bisexuality or sex with many partners may not be enjoyable to you, I love to read about it if it is written with passion and honesty. I love to know what others are thinking and feeling. I hope you all enjoy my thoughts too, even if it isn't what you would do yourself.
New Years Eve, Emma and I did sneak off for a little heavy petting during the middle of the party. Unfortunately, Mac was not able to join us even briefly due to the fact that He, as always, had a gaggle of people around Him while He told them dirty jokes. I waved to Him, grinning as Emma and I quietly slipped away and I should have known from the way He smiled at me that He would get me back for my moment of smugness. Emma and I ducked into the bathroom and locked the door and fell on each other with passion, girlie kisses and groping and whimpers of lust and pleasure. It was only moments before I had my skirt hiked up and Emma realised I had no panties on and she quickly removed hers and tossed them into the clothes hamper and only moments later that we each had fingers inside the other.
I came first and Emma helped me stay on my feet, kissing my neck while I did. Then I worked my fingers back inside her until she was coming too. Then we both collapsed against each other giggling like two naughty little girls. We washed our hands and cleaned up our make up and just before we went out the door I asked Emma to wait and slid my hand up her leg and slipped two fingers inside her. She frowned at me asked why I did that but I kissed her and told her to wait and see.
We went back to the main room of the party and we both froze like deer in the headlights as Mac's voiced boomed out across the room. 'Where have you two been?' Emma and I both stood there in shock for a moment before Emma thankfully found her voice and said that we were just feeling each other up in the bathroom, which of course made everyone laugh. Who would really believe the truth? Mac's eyes were glittering with amusement when I slid up beside Him and slipped my sticky fingers into His hand. He immediately felt the moisture and His eyes narrowed. He pulled my hand up to just below His mouth.
'You?' He whispered.
'Emma,' I whispered back and as He kissed and licked my fingers behind His hand the sexual tension in the air between us thickened and I doubt that Emma and I were the only ones whose muscles were clenching. It was almost as though I could smell His arousal, see His need in His eyes and it made my knees feel weak. I had the feeling that the only thought in His mind was to take me right there and then. It was a very primitive feeling, a very basic need that passed between U/us and for a moment I became frightened that He would give in to it and I was relieved when He whispered in my ear that I should go to the bedroom and wait.
I did, of course and I am unsure how long it took Him to follow but when He did open the bedroom door I was kneeling on the floor waiting for Him. There was silence that stretched out just long enough for me to start to wonder if it wasn't Mac that had walked in before He spoke and I smiled at the sound of His voice.
'Show me.' He said and I stood and leant over the side of the bed and pulled my skirt up so He could see that I was ready for Him. I heard Him unzip His jeans and the head of His cock pressed against my ass and I tried to relax to allow Him inside me.
It was fast and it was very powerful to be ass fucked while O/our place was filled with people and when He had come inside me He pulled me to Him and kissed me and told me what a wickedly good girl I was and I felt like I was shining with that 'just fucked and I pleased Him' look for the rest of the night. Emma picked up on it immediately, gliding up next to me and whispering 'lucky girl' in my ear.
I wonder if everyone else saw it too?