Kneeling before Him...
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Friday, January 23, 2004
Some things have happened here recently that I didn't fully appreciate at the time. I am a very sensual and sexual person (not that you could tell) and I tend to make judgement on my relationships with sex and pleasure as a measuring stick.
Good sex=He is pleased=Good relationship.
Bad or non-existent sex=He is not pleased=Bad relationship.
While I was busy having my little 'I hate me so don't touch me' hissy fit, Mac was pretty much busy leaving me alone. He said that my behaviour was hardly an aphrodisiac as I was cold and morose and I kept pushing Him away. So from Sunday to Thursday morning there was no semen. This bothered me a lot. More than it should.
I asked Mac yesterday why was there no affection and He looked at me in total surprise. He pointed out a few things that I had simply missed, or at least glossed over, because they were not blindingly obvious affection. When I stopped and thought about them, they were deeply loving and very protective. Sometimes I forget to count the little things, and they are the things that mean so very much.
We were sitting with some friends at the pub and laughing about the conversation Christine was having with Dan on her phone. Everyone was hinting at a sexual side to her short conversation and she took it good naturedly, blushing and giggling and relaying messages from Dan to us and us back to Dan. She hung up and said she had to go do something and she got up from the table and walked away in the direction of the bathroom.
Of course this made everyone laugh some more and allude to what she might be doing. Another friend, Diane, came over to say hello and Christine came back from the toilets and announced that she had washed her hands, to which I said 'She DID touch herself!' and the whole table broke into fits of giggles. Diane was not impressed and looked at me coldly and said 'Sarah, get off that topic'. Everyone went quiet and I was embarrassed, I hate having that type of attention drawn to me.
Mac very calmly said 'Excuse me, Diane, the sexual innuendo has been flying around this table for at least 15 minutes and for the most part Sarah has stayed out of it. Perhaps next time you wish to join us, you might like to get a feel for the conversation before you become censorial and self-righteous.' Diane mumbled something about having other people to see and left.
What He did when He defended me like that was very special. He knows how much I hate little attacks like Diane's and He knew that it would bother me for some time. He knew that I was deeply embarrassed and I would fret over having offended her and He knew that I was not in the wrong. So He made sure that she knew it and I knew it too. Instead of being something to worry about, I forgot about it completely until He mentioned it to me when pointing out the affectionate things He had done. It had made me feel a whole lot better about being me but at the time I didn't see it as the loving thing it was. And above all of that, no one speaks to His girl like that and gets away with it when He is around. It feels very safe to know that when He is around I can relax and just be me.
So the Great Four Day Semen Drought ended yesterday morning in a big way. It wasn't at all what I was expecting and turned into one of those situations where no matter how high the level of passion is, some things are just funny...
I woke Him a little early and much to my disappointment, instead of wanting to fuck me, He just wanted food. I made U/us breakfast and while W/we were eating He asked me what I had put in the blog. I said that I had written about ovulating. That got His attention. After breakfast He told me to come to the room with Him while He read the blog. I did and I knelt next to Him stroking His cock while He read. He came quickly and I wasn't expecting it and didn't even have time to put my mouth on Him while He was coming.
I said to Him that it hadn't taken long and He shrugged and said 'Sometimes, you just make me come.' I giggled and licked at His semen on my hand and He looked at me with mock sternness and sent me to shower.
After the shower I was putting a new moisturising cream on my face and enjoying the soft silky feel of it when I suddenly thought I should tell Mac how nice it feels. He loves it when I am all girlie. I took the cream to Him. He was still working. I put His hand against my cheek and told Him that I thought it made my skin feel like silk and that I wanted to try it on my breasts, but I was worried that if I did I would want to play with my tits all day.
He scowled at me and told me I was a horny little witch and I grinned at Him. He had me kneel and put the cream on my breasts while He watched. When I was done and my breasts were well and truly moisturised He demanded that I suck His cock. I did, taking Him deeply into my throat but He almost immediately withdrew and told me to lie on my back on the floor.
He entered me without any fuss and I held on to Him tighter than I ever had before. I brought Him to the edge of orgasm and then He would hold back from me and force me to come instead. I had my legs wrapped around Him and I was pulling Him into me with my hands and I was desperate to make Him come and He was enjoying my desperation.
I whispered to Him that I couldn't take much more, that His cock was stretching me open and He lost His concentration and He came. I was kissing Him and gurgling and feeling very triumphant. I kept clenching on Him because I know how much He loves it and He called me a horny fucking bitch and told me to fuck His still hard cock with my tits.
He lay on His back and I knelt between His legs and I held my tits around His cock and slid them along Him. He moaned and growled and was almost at the point of orgasm before I started. I begged Him to cover my tits in His semen and His orgasm was short and intense and when His body relaxed He started to laugh. I looked at Him a little worried and asked what was so funny and He pointed out that there was hardly enough semen from the last orgasm to cover one nipple let alone my tits and then I was laughing too. I laughed until I had tears in my eyes and Mac was holding me and laughing too. And it felt so good to be laughing with Him like that.
He rang me at lunchtime, just to say hello and see how my morning out had gone. It was very nice and warm to hear His voice and although He couldn't talk for long, I know what He really called for was to say He loved me, even if those words weren't said.
Then last night before bed, I was talking to wench on pager and Mac was standing beside me pretending to be Winston Churchill after watching a show on WWII on the television. I was full of giggles at Him and it was gorgeous to watch Him being such a boy.
In bed last night W/we kissed and W/we kissed and W/we kissed some more. Soft, gentle, loving, 'I could kiss like this forever' type kisses. I tried to talk to Him, to tell Him just how much I love Him but He told me to hush and covered my mouth with His and W/we kissed again. Then He tucked me into His chest and wrapped His arms around me and that always makes me feel so small and protected.
I faded off to sleep fast and it was a long deep sleep and when I woke this morning He was the first thing I saw and I fell in love with Him all over again. I am still trying hard not to cry with happiness.
I love Him so very very much.