Kneeling before Him...
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Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Sometimes, at this time of the month I do not feel in control of my emotions. They control me. I become very aware of what I call the bitch within me. She is a nasty piece of work that is best left alone. She gets frustrated at the simplest of tasks and just when she is at her very meanest she breaks down like a little girl and cries.
Mac sometimes forgets that she can exist. Especially since she is only around for one day of the month. He will try and tease her out of the bad mood and it's not until she bites that He will think (and not say, never ever say) that I may be premenstrual. He will give me some space, enough to let me think about what I have said or done and sure enough, I will break down in tears and run to Him and ask Him to forgive me and He will tell me it's ok, that I am still His good girl and He still loves me.
And when my period starts and I come to Him again and sheepishly admit I was premenstrual He will give me that annoying knowing smile and say He figured that I was, but He wasn't going to tell me. He would rather keep His head on His neck.
This is a fantasy written during a moment of anger and frustration when the bitch was lashing out at everyone, especially at me. This is not something Mac would do, or something I would want Him to do, but it was something I believed I deserved (and wanted) at the time.
"She lay on her belly on the bed and tried to rid herself of the fear that pulled at her stomach. She felt in him a need to hurt her and her fear grew as the silence stretched between them. He was going to hurt her, he was going to humiliate her, and she was going to allow it.
He gripped her ankle and roughly parted her legs. She dared not whimper or cry out because she knew it would just fuel his desire for her pain. She felt him part her butt cheeks and push a hard cold plastic cock deeply into her ass without any concern for her comfort. She bit into the sheet beneath her and tears filled her eyes. He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back so she could see him. 'You love it, don't you, you filthy slut. Don't you?' She knew he required an answer and through her tears she found the breath to gasp out 'yes.' He roughly pushed her down, pinning her head to the bed for just a moment in case she had forgotten just who was in control.
She lay perfectly still knowing any movement would give him an excuse to hurt her more. He pushed another plastic cock into her cunt. She whimpered in spite of her resolve to stay silent. 'Ha,' he growled. 'You like that huh, cunt?' She bit her lip and silently prayed for the strength to answer him correctly. 'Yes,' she hissed.
He placed a belt between her legs and attached it to another around her waist, holding both dildos firmly in place. She wasn't sure if the burning of her ass or the stretching of her cunt hurt her more or if it was just the thought of more to come.
'Now, bitch,' he growled. 'You will play with your own cunt until you come hard. You know you want it, whore.'
Her hand slid beneath her body, she was too terrified not to comply. She lifted herself slightly so her fingers could reach her clitoris and knew that he was somewhere behind her watching. She gasped in horror as her fingers found her clitoris swollen, her arousal at such treatment obvious from the juices she was leaking. She was shocked to find herself already close to orgasm. Through her disgust in herself, she started to cry again.
The hand at her hair was vicious, stretching her head back until she thought she might break. 'Why are you crying, you stupid slut? You know you like this. You know you want this. You are a filthy little whore.' He pushed her head away from his hand, almost as though he was disgusted to have touched her.
She heard the sound of the belt cut the air just before she felt the sting of it on her ass. She bit her lip, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of her pain. The tough leather burned her deeply with each lash that landed on her ass and her thighs. He hit her hard enough to make himself grunt with the force of each stroke and she couldn't hold back. She screamed in the agony that tore into her. She begged him to stop, she begged him not to hurt her and she stayed on the bed and waited for the next stroke to fall.
He tossed the belt aside and between her pleas she heard it hit the floor. He gripped a handful of her hair and stretched her head back again. 'Shut up and take my cock, slut.' He growled at her. He allowed her head to fall to the bed and she was grateful for the respite even if it was short lived. He grabbed her hair again and turned her head to the side. She opened her mouth in complice and he shoved his cock deep into her throat. She gagged and choked. Already her throat felt bruised and he pulled from her and shoved it into her again. Again she gagged but he showed her no sympathy as he shoved deeply into her mouth again. He held his cock inside her and hit her cheek hard.
'Don't you dare stop playing with your cunt, bitch.' Her fingers resumed stroking her clitoris. He grabbed her neck and started to squeeze and her lungs started to burn for the oxygen she needed. He watched her struggle without compassion, she was just another whore to be taken and used. He kept fucking her mouth, enjoying the feel of her lips on his cock. She shuddered and convulsed and he growled as the power of her orgasm overtook her. He filled her mouth with his semen, his hand at her throat making it impossible for her to swallow and his semen oozed from her lips with each thrust he took. She was barely aware of him coming as her body was rocked by the intense waves of pleasure and the desperate need to breathe. The last of his orgasm was spent inside her before he relented the grip on her throat. She gulped the air she needed to remain conscious and her body was wracked with sobs.
He watched her silently for a minute before he leant over her and gently tucked a curl behind her ear. He kissed her cheek with tenderness. 'I love you, my angel,' he whispered.
He turned from her and walked away."