When I read my comments last night, there was a comment on an earlier post (January 2) about something that Mac had said. Grumbler pointed out to me that the view that Mac took on sadism, is not a point of view that Grumbler shares.

Mac had said:

"Isn't that ironic? The very last Male a woman who wants to be hurt should be with is a Male who actually wants to hurt her."

In reply Grumbler said:

"I have to disagree with you on the subject in the comments. I crave the submission and masochism that w gives to me. But I know my responsibilities, so I know when to stop. She has given herself to me, and with that I agreed to take on the responsibility of ownership. Dominating her goes much deeper than eroticism. It fulfils a basic need in me, also. I was looking for a submissive masochist when we found each other."

The comments can be seen in full on the post from the 2nd of January 2004.

Grumbler also wrote on his blog about sadism and it is well worth reading. I understand his view better because of it.

I am going to talk about what Mac said and what I think He meant, and He may Himself disagree with me when He wakes up and reads this.

I think what Mac meant was that when a man requires a woman to hurt to make him feel like a man, then that is the last man a woman who needs to hurt should be with. I am of the belief myself that if a man requires a woman to crawl to him because her humiliation makes him feel better about himself, if he needs her to call him master because it inflates his ego, if he needs to belt her because he feels important when he does, or if he calls her slut because her degradation builds his self esteem, then that is the very last man a submissive woman needs.

On the other hand if he wants her to crawl to him because he loves the way her ass sways when she does, if she calls him master because it means something special for them, if he belts her because it arouses both of them or if he calls her names as a term of affection then that is the type of man she needs.

Mac and I are of the belief that a woman submitting to a man is the natural order of things as it was not all that long ago on the Savannah. (I know there are people out there that wont agree with that and that's ok.) W/we also believe that the imprint of the Savannah surfaces more on some people than on others. On U/us the imprint is strong. He is an Alpha Male. I am a submissive female. My life would have depended on the pleasure of my Male. If He found me displeasing, I would be cast aside and at the mercy of all other males as would my children have been. I don't just live to please, I please to live.

Mac would be an Alpha Male if I were kneeling beside Him or not. People were deferring to Him long before I came along and would continue too even if I were no longer there. He does not need me to build His ego (trust me, it is big enough, grins) or His self-esteem (again big enough). He has always believed that He rules His world. I think having me beside Him just gives Him an extra reason too.

On my original post I said:

"Today, with the way that I feel, the aches I have, the soreness of my breasts and my face and throat, I am glad that I have a man that doesn't want to hurt me. I think that if I had one that took pleasure from hurting me I would not know when to stop and I would end up really damaged. The marks He left on me are superficial and will probably heal faster than I would like them too. I cringe to think how much I would let Him hurt me if He liked it."

Perhaps what it should have said is:

"Today, with the way that I feel, the aches I have, the soreness of my breasts and my face and throat, I am glad I have a man that doesn't need to hurt me. I think if I had one that needed my pain to make Him feel better I would not know when to stop and I would end up really damaged. The marks He left on me are superficial and will probably heal faster than I would like them too. I cringe to think how much I would let Him hurt me if He required it."

Mac will still say that He doesn't take pleasure from hurting me and I know He is telling the truth. For me that is a good thing because I know that if Mac told me He liked me to hurt I would push to be hurt all the time and in ways I couldn't handle and I don't know where it would stop.

These are my thoughts and my thoughts only. Please feel free to disagree and to express your own thoughts in my comments. I love discussion and believe that true understanding can only come from different points of view.

Mac has been remarkably horny for the last few days. He blames me. I blame me too. Yesterday after the sex against the door He got me to suck Him during the movie and He came over my face and in my mouth. He lent down and took some of His semen from my cheek onto His tongue and brought it to my mouth to taste and then He took some of the semen on His cock and brought it to my mouth again and He came again, less then two minutes after the first time. I snuggled up next to Him purring in contentment that I can still make my Male come twice in two minutes. He told me that I am His good girl.

Twice in less then two minutes.

His good girl is still purring.