Kneeling before Him...
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Friday, January 02, 2004
When I spoke to wench the other night, I told her about a former boyfriend of mine that always wanted me to tie him up and rape him. This was always a hard thing for me to do as I always felt so out of control. How do I rape someone? Should I humiliate him? Call him names? Hurt him? The best I could do was tie him up and have sex with him, which hardly makes it rape. I always felt like I was faking it but I did my best to please him. I just thank the powers that be that he never asked me to hurt him. I can imagine it now.
Me: Did I hurt you? Was it too hard? Should I do it softer? Do you want me to stop? I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.
I am sure it would have destroyed any mood we had created. I just cannot hurt anyone. On the other hand, I like a certain amount of pain. I am far from a pain slut that can be tied up and whipped and belted and caned and flogged and so on and so forth. Nor do I need a lot of pain to get the endorphin/adrenaline rush flowing, but slap my face or use a fine whip on my breasts and I will beg for more.
When I first started masturbating, my fantasies were of punishment. It was wrong, it was dirty and if I touched myself, it had to hurt for me to enjoy it. My orgasm was always achieved to appease an imaginary Him that would kiss me and tell me what a good girl I was to do as I was told and all my sins would be forgiven in His pleasure.
Mac is different to me, as one would expect. He never had fantasies of domination, or fantasies of hurting anyone and He once told me that the best way to make a woman want to please you is by making her come hard many times until she wants nothing more than to wind her fingers through your hair and wrap her legs around you and make you come. At the same time He has always taken the lead in His sexual relationships and never thought about taking a submissive role either. Mac just assumes that He is in charge of pretty much everything He does and strangely enough, people go along with Him.
So why is it that Mac gets a sexual rush at the sight of His girl on her knees, tear streaked and bleeding, begging Him to hurt her more? I think what He gets a rush from is the fact that I am so obviously aroused. My whole body becomes one giant erogenous zone and a single touch will leave me gasping for breath. Yesterday, I was half way to this point before W/we even started.
Emma put the cuffs on my wrist and did them up, but left them unhooked from each other, then we went to the bedroom where Mac was waiting for us. He kissed me fully on the lips and then put His hand on top of my head and I sank to me knees at His feet. He told me to take off the top then He hooked the cuffs together in front of me. Emma stood behind me and knew that she was there for support should I need it.
Mac said 'Offer me your breasts,' and the words thrilled me. I did my best to cup my breasts with the cuffs on and I presented them to Him.
'They are Yours'
'Yes,' He said. 'You belong to Me.'
I smiled softly. 'Use me as You will.'
He smiled too and told me to raise my arms above my head and keep them there. I did as I was told and He used the fine leather whip W/we own on my tits. The pain went deep inside me and found its way to my throbbing clit. I cried and I bit my lip and shook my head for Him to stop and when He did I pleaded with Him not to stop and so He gave me some more. Emma held my hands up when it became a struggle for me too and I lent my head back against her lower tummy and arched my breasts towards the whip and my mind swam, my whole body on fire with the pain from my tits.
When He felt I had reached a point that was enough He tossed the whip aside and grabbed me by the hair and pulled my mouth to His cock. He forced Himself inside my mouth and fucked me roughly, making me gag and choke. He came before I could relax to His rhythm and more of His semen spilt from my lips and dripped from my chin to my breasts than I could manage to swallow. My breasts stung from His come, deepening the ache within me. Mac leaned down and covered my mouth with His and He kissed me deeply again. He helped me to my feet and suggested that Emma use her mouth to clean me.
Her tongue against my abused skin made me sob both from the pain it caused and because I could hardly stand her touch. I needed to come and I didn't want any more stimulation until I could. I begged Mac to allow it but He said He wanted to fuck Emma. He unhooked the cuffs and told me to make Him come first, and then He would let me have the orgasm I craved.
I watched while He kissed Emma and she took His cock in her hands and started to stroke it. He pulled off her top and took down her panties and pushed her back towards the bed. I could see that He was already hard. He ran His unshaven jaw over Emma's tits and I whimpered as I imagined Him doing the same to mine.
'Get on the bed, Sarah.' He demanded and I obeyed, hardly even thinking. He told Emma to 'present' and she rolled to her stomach and raised herself to her hands and knees. He pushed Himself into her and I knelt behind Him and reached between His legs to stroke His cock and her clitoris as He fucked her. He lent forward over her back and I licked His balls. Emma grunted each time my fingers touched her clitoris and Mac was grunting with each lick of His balls and I was whimpering so desperate to come. Emma came, shuddering and groaning and I moved my hand so that my finger pressed into Mac's ass and I timed it to His thrusts into Emma and He growled and shuddered too, His semen oozing from her with His final strokes. He moved from her and I sat on the end of the bed still whimpering, unable to find the words I wanted to ask again if I could come. Mac slid off the bed and pulled me to my feet, spinning me around so He could hook the cuffs together behind my back and then He pushed me to my knees again with the bed at my back.
'Do you want to come, slut?'
All I could think to do was nod.
'There is only one way to make a slut like you come instantly,' He said.
He pulled my head up to look at Him and He slapped me.
I took the three hard slaps to the face and I braced myself for more but He stopped.
'More,' I gasped
'Enough' He growled and then He reached between my legs and slid His hand inside my panties. His other hand reached for my neck and pushed me back against the bed, His fingers closing over my throat. I tried to gasp for air but couldn't draw breath and He rubbed my clitoris and the world started to go black around the edges and He whispered in my ear for me to come.
I don't know the words to express properly what happened next. I came but it was so far beyond coming that I don't know how to describe it. It was almost like my body exploded into tiny pieces and each of those tiny pieces were coming independently and yet I could feel each tiny parts orgasm. Somewhere in there Mac let go of my neck and drawing in a breath was like coming all over again. He kissed me and again I exploded in ecstasy. Mac was telling me He loved me and I could hear Him and I knew what He was saying but the words made no sense and my body just kept piling pleasure on pleasure on pleasure. I started crying to release some of the enormous emotion I was feeling and Mac kissed away my tears. He unlocked my hands and practically picked me up off the floor and laid me on the bed. He lay beside me and pulled me to His chest and stroked me while my body kept shuddering over and over.
It took a long time for every touch to stop sending me into another orgasm and Mac wouldn't let me go. Emma laid behind me and they both talked to me gently and it made me cry to feel so much love. I don't know how long it was before I started to drift off into sleep but after a while I jolted awake and asked Mac if it was ok for me to sleep and He smiled at me and kissed my eyes shut and told me to rest.
When I next woke Emma asked me if I wanted some orange juice and I couldn't think if I did or not so Mac told me to drink it and I did. Emma asked if I wanted a bath and again Mac told me I did so I had a bath. When I got out Emma helped dry me and Mac carried me back to the bed and Emma climbed into bed with me and we tangled ourselves together and Mac sat in the chair at the end of the room and grabbed a book. I watched Him for a while from Emma's arms and He felt me staring and looked up at me.
'It's ok, baby, go to sleep. I will watch over You.' It felt right to have Him there and I drifted back to sleep. I didn't wake until late last night and I read the comment Mac had left on here and I cried with happiness.
My breasts still bear the marks He put on them yesterday. There are tiny fine lines of broken skin as well as redness and some bruising. They are sore and yet I hadn't wanted Him to stop. I could have taken more pain from Him, I wanted Him to hurt me more, I wanted Him to slap me again and again but He wouldn't. There is a point He will allow me to reach but He will not go further than that. He pulls back and sometimes it frustrates me that He does but He always says that He has to be true to Himself first so that He can protect me from myself. I have learnt that when Mac says 'enough' He means it and no amount of begging or pleading will change His mind.
Today, with the way that I feel, the aches I have, the soreness of my breasts and my face and throat, I am glad that I have a man that doesn't want to hurt me. I think that if I had one that took pleasure from hurting me I would not know when to stop and I would end up really damaged. The marks He left on me are superficial and will probably heal faster than I would like them too. I cringe to think how much I would let Him hurt me if He liked it.
Mac helped me piece yesterday together for here. I remembered most of it, but not what order everything happened in. Emma was probably more involved but in all truth my concentration centred on Mac and myself (sorry Emma), as He was the one in control, the one I needed to please. I was still very grateful to have her there.
W/we don't have sex like that often, Mac just knew that with the mood I was in it would be easy to push me into heightened state of arousal and it was. He took full of advantage of it and gosh, it was so good.
I am glad W/we have a day to rest. All W/we have to do is lie around on the couch and read books and watch television.
Oh and of course I will have to take care of His cock, if the need should arise.