Kneeling before Him...
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Thursday, January 22, 2004
Yesterday, in the morning I tried so very hard to see a happy place and all I could see was darkness so in the end, I showed you darkness. It wasn't meant to upset or worry anyone. It was just that I needed to get it out of me. Mac and I talked afterwards. It was a good honest talk from a place where neither of U/us allowed emotions to get in the way. W/we talked about what W/we were thinking and what W/we were feeling and how much I need to please Him and how pleased He is with me. I was feeling like I failed, but He pointed out that I am a good little soldier following orders and I am making Him proud of me in the process so W/we are moving past the icky spot and onto something positive and I feel good about that.
As for if it is based in reality, my mother was a very sick woman when I was young. Depression tends to force you to focus on the person who demands the most of your emotions. I was the only child left at home and my mother and I spent 24 hours a day 7 days a week in each other's company. She asked a Dr for help before she ever hurt me and the Dr told her that if she couldn't handle the children she had, she shouldn't have had them and gave her a prescription for Valium, which just made her sleepy. My father threw them out. She started to see me as the cause of all her problems and if I would just behave myself everything else would be all right. Irrational, I know, but she truly believed it. I don't hold any bad feelings towards her, she was sick and she got better and she is my mum.
I have been watching Mac fall exhausted into bed for the past few days and I know that work is keeping Him busy. I also know that I am ovulating and had it not been for the smack in the mouth a few days back I would have raped Him by now, if He was sleepy or not. I tend not to care if He actually wants to fuck when I go through this stage. I am frustrated and edgy and very much in need of His semen. The reason that the smack has held me back is because I was still trying to find a comfortable place to be with Him. Yesterday I found that place and last night when W/we were out with friends I shone. I thought maybe He would want to make love to me, but when W/we got home He had some work to finish off and by the time He got to bed, I was completely and soundly asleep. As sleep was part of the problem I am having, I have to get as much of it as I can.
Even my gorgeous builders have gone, their job done. I look out my window at the lovely new house across the street and I sigh. Yes they were just a fantasy, but it was a NICE fantasy and I miss them.
I remember when they first arrived Mac watched me watch them and He knew why I was looking. When W/w were in bed He wound a delicious tale of gorgeous sex into my head while He toyed with me until I was begging Him to stop and begging Him to never stop and I thought I would never come down from the height of orgasm again.
I will try and tell it the way He did. My apologies to Him if I stuff it up.
I have this recurring vision of a young married woman. She is beautiful and married to a much older man. Work is being done on her house and the builder already has her submitted. She is totally thrilled with how he dominates her. She has never known this kind of man. She grew up like a princess, private schooling, holiday resorts, always protected from the outside world. Suddenly she is obsessed with a hard, rough, sometimes brutal male and she can't get enough.
This day she is standing at an upstairs window, half hidden by the curtain. She is smiling and waving to her husband as he leaves for work. Hidden beside her is her lover his cock already engorged. She has the fingers of her non-waving hand round it. Her husband turns to reverse down the drive and she moans ferally and quickly bows her head to lick her lover's precum.
There are 8 men working at the house. She knows she will spend the morning being used by them all and she is soaked in anticipation. He told her yesterday that today she would fuck all his men and she was up at 6am, bathing, waxing, anticipating. She is nervous but the thought of him allowing his men to use her and being allowed to pleasure them is thrilling to her.
He will sometimes watch and will be pleasured himself, but work is there to do and He won't spend all day with her. She knows he is near and would come to her instantly if she called. She is expected to be ready for anyone who wants her.
The first two come in when he is still there they watch as she caresses his cock. The only one not nervous is he. She can sense their lust as he holds her hair and thrusts his cock roughly into her mouth. One of the men tentatively frees his cock and her lover withdraws from her mouth. The men wait for her reaction to the exposed cock of the newcomer. She looks at him in silence, then she smiles.
'Mmmmmmmmm' she says, then like a good girl she snakes her tongue back to her lovers cock. He thrusts again and she feels him quicken and swell and just as he starts to orgasm she pulls back slightly, wanting the two men to see his semen start to spurt. They watch breathlessly and she closes her mouth over her lover to take all into her throat. When he has finished he zips himself up. She turns to the others and casually wipes her chin with the back of her hand and looks each in the eye in turn as she licks the semen from her hand.
'Ok boys,' she breathes, 'how may I please you?'
The morning passes. She is taken and used all ways and when her lover visits her later she is tied. Her hands are above her head, shackled with chains to the bed. Her legs are wound around a sturdy workman and her lover can see that the workman's cock is pumping her hard. She is kissing him passionately and moaning.
Watching is two more, masturbating impatiently. One is the first she had this morning. This is his third time and when he kneels beside her head and offers her his cock she laughs and asks how much he can have left having fucked her pussy and her ass already. It is not long before she finds out.
By lunchtime every man has come with her at least twice and still she greets each with pleasure and lust. As soon as they kneel between her legs she pulls them into her and kisses them or sucks their neck. If she is turned over to be ass fucked she pushes back and squirms. With each man each time her only thought is pleasing him and she feels that as a drive like no other. Even the younger ones, who at first came almost instantly, brought from her a giggle of sheer delight. What does it matter if a cock spurts over her tits even before she can get her mouth around it? He was still thrilled with her enough to come.
One guy roughly announced he had never ass fucked, so she turned over eagerly and presented to him. He moaned as he approached her and as she felt his penis touch her, she felt his orgasm splash hotly on to her. She laughed, turned and licked him clean.
'Next time,' she said. 'Do it next time.'
One man fucked her ass for a long time, rough and gentle. She sensed his experience. Then he got rough and bit her shoulder hard. The guys watching were startled and wondered if she would call her lover. She moaned and she came and she begged him to be rougher. His cock seemed huge and he was so deep that the guys behind could see his balls pressed against her. When he withdrew they could see semen, his, and others' trickling to her vagina.
That's when she laid on top of the next, his cock in her pussy while his mate pressed his cock to her ass. He didn't enter her, but came between her cheeks while he was still trying to.
At one point she was lying on her back being fucked, sucking a man's neck when she suddenly turned to the two watchers and said simply 'suck my breasts.' They did gently.
'No,' she said, 'rougher. Bite them, mark them, suck them.' From then her breasts got much attention and became very very very sore and still she asked for more.
I think those were the highlights. I came and came and came some more and there was much moaning and much whimpering and much begging while He just kept whispering to me about this poor poor princess that was being brutally used the way I wanted to be used. He was vicious with His teeth and gentle with His tongue and I was well used, bruised and semen filled by the time He was finished.
I am looking at the clock and wondering if there will be enough time to fuck me before work. I have to go out today and I so want to feel His pleasure leaking down my thighs when I do. I want to go wake Him.
I need Him.
I really do.