Kneeling before Him...
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Saturday, February 21, 2004
My name is Sarah and I am a blogaholic.
I am serious! I am! I woke this morning suffering from severe blog withdrawal and I had race here to get my fix. Not just so that I could blog myself, but to check out those blogs that I read each day.
So where have I been? Well, it has been a hectic couple of days, about as hectic as they get around here. W/we got home and slept and woke to discover that Mac had to leave again. W/we hardly had time to talk before He left, the day spent throwing things into a suitcase and Him organising files. His laptop decided that it didn't want to work so that added another level of stress to things. Then I was taking Him to the station to do the train, plane, hotel room thing again.
W/we stood together at the station watching the people file past and waited for His train. I could think of dozens of things to say and they all just meant 'I love You' so I just held His hand and waited. As the train time neared He said that He had better go and I said yes and kissed Him on the cheek and said that I would miss Him and He smiled. I knew I was going to start crying and He looked at all the people around U/us and said 'fuck it' and wrapped me in His arms and kissed me.
It was one of those mind blowing, orgasm inducing, toe curling, finger tingling kisses that left me feeling my heartbeat in my clitoris. He was holding me up because my knees had given way and it took me a moment or five to compose myself when His mouth had moved from mine. He looked a little surprised at the intensity of it too.
'Well... that was nice,' said my Hero of understatement.
And I started laughing and He was chuckling and He kissed my nose and said 'Be a good girl, ok?' and then He was gone.
W/we are not sure when He will be back, hopefully it will be Monday, should be Tuesday at the latest. I was told to be a good girl so I won't whine about missing Him. Instead I will just let Him know I am thinking about Him in a very Sarah way.
"She kneels quietly at the windowsill and watches as the storm heads grow in anger outside. She feels the electricity in the air around her. She doesn't want to count the time He has been gone. It doesn't matter if it has been minutes or hours or days. She doesn't want to count the time until He returns, for she cannot be sure when it will be.
She wonders what He is doing and imagines Him the way she has seen many times before.
"He sits slouched in a huge chair, the way only a man can slouch, somehow managing to take up more space than should be possible. He wears chinos and a sweater, casual and comfortable and masculine. He seems oblivious to the things around him, totally engrossed in the world created by the book He is reading and yet, He feels her watching him. He looks at her and He smiles."
Lightening flashes across the sky and thunder rolls through the floor beneath her bringing her thoughts back to the present. He is gone and she misses him, even though she knows He will be back with her soon. She watches the rain fall and notices that the flowers rejoice. Even as the sky cries, the earth grows stronger. Somewhere inside herself, she feels her love for Him grow.
She knows that it is only a storm and storms strike with intensity, but pass quickly. She knows that soon this moment will be gone, but for now it lingers. For now, she bows her head, and allows her tears to fall."
I am being a good girl, Mac.
Really I am.