Kneeling before Him...
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Monday, February 16, 2004
W/we got back to the hotel room at 2am on Sunday morning and immediately fell into a discussion. Mac had tried to cheer me up with jokes all evening and it just wasn't working. I was tired and He was cranky and W/we should have just gone to bed, but I ended up doing something silly and asked Him to tell me that He loved me.
I know, I know, you cant ask for "I love you"s, they have to be given, as a gift, not demanded or whined for. If He had said it, even I realise it would have been a very hollow "I love you" indeed. Also asking for it like that tends to put Mac on the back foot and He just closes up. I know He does it. I should know better, but I asked anyway. So I was in tears and He was closed off and it wasn't going to get any better so W/we both thought it best if W/we just went to bed.
I woke kind of latish for me and I posted on the blog then jumped back into bed and snuggled up to Mac meaning to wake Him and I fell back asleep instead. When W/we woke again it was a rush to get to breakfast before the restaurant closed. Mac moaned about there being no bacon and complained about the beef bacon, which apparently tastes like the rubber sole of a shoe. I grinned and was generally in a good mood. I felt a lot better about being me.
W/we went back to the room and I did some things on the computer while Mac read a little of His book. It was that comfortable kind of being together that was just nice.
After a while Mac started to feel caged in and restless. He really is not a sit still type of person so I waited to see what He had planned. He was standing over at the window and He turned to me.
'I should go to the gym. Want to fuck first?' He asked.
'Well so much for seduction, but yes, let's do it.' I answered.
'See? It worked.' He shrugged
'Only because I know I am not going to get a better offer.' I shrugged back.
'Ok, forget it then. I should go to the gym anyway.'
'What?' I was shocked that He was taking me seriously.
'Are You pissy with me now?' I felt a little afraid I had stuffed up.
'No. Are you pissy with me?'
'No, I was just kidding with You.'
'So, um, want to do it?' I asked.
'Shut the fuck up woman. Get your panties off, get on the bed and you had better be ready for me.'
'Yes Love.' I managed to get out with my head bowed and a hidden grin on my face.
'And stop fucking around.' He scowled.
He had me pinned to the mattress before I could get comfortable and He entered me immediately. I shifted beneath Him trying to get my legs around Him and He thrust into me harder. I was already whimpering when He started to growl at me.
'I love that you are ready for me. I can tell you to take off your panties and spread your legs and you do. You are my bitch and I love that I can fuck you at any time. I love that your cunt is for my use. I love that your ass is mine to fuck whenever I want. I love that you are mine to use for my pleasure. I tell you to get on your knees and you take my cock from my pants and want me to come on your face, you make me come on your face and you love it. I love that you are my slut, my bitch. You are mine.'
My whimpering had deepened into the moaning of orgasm and as I came He ever so gently kissed my lips and softly whispered 'I love you, Sarah. You are so beautiful when you come.' And suddenly I was crying and He was coming. I wish I could capture that moment and put it in a picture frame so that everyone could share in how it felt.
W/we kissed a little and He told me that He loved that I do as I am told and He called me a good girl. He got up and went to the gym and I fell asleep snuggled up to His pillow and warmed by His words and His semen leaking from me.
At lunchtime W/we met a group of people downstairs. Like U/us, most had decided not to brave the icy weather and everyone had pretty much stayed in the hotel. W/we were talking to these people, the majority of who were American when someone asked Mac to slow down because His accent was too heavy.
I think most of the regular readers would have realised by now that Mac and I live in the UK. Mac is Welsh. Mac is really Welsh. Mac is so Welsh that other Welshmen ring Him to ask advice on how a Welshman should act. He is that Welsh.
Mac claimed that He didn't have an accent (He does) and that started a discussion on Wales and Welsh heritage. Mac mentioned that His great great grandfather had written a famous Welsh hymn and that Mac had once heard it sung at the Millennium Stadium by 70,000 people. I asked Him to sing it and the other ladies there ganged up on Him too. So He sang it. Not a single one of us had any clue what any of the words meant but it was sung with such feeling and pride that it touched us all. When He finished there was a resounding 'wow' and we made Him sing another Welsh hymn. Again it was just gorgeous and one of the men asked about the differences in Wales and England and Mac was quick to point out that in spite of His Welshness, He considered Himself to be British first. And before that He considered Himself to be a rugby player.
So if Mac were to describe Himself in as few words as possible in descending order, it would look like this.
1. Full Back
2. Rugby Player
One of the other ladies there said she would consider herself female first and American second. I gave it some thought and I had to agree that I would be:
3. Member of the Commonwealth.
(Yes I am a displaced Australian and yes, it does create some very interesting sporting conflicts in O/our home but it is always done in good taste and without bitterness on either side (thank god.) I have lived in the UK for quite a few years now, but I will always consider myself to be Australian. Mac has taught me to take pride in my birthplace.)
I kept thinking about my list of how I see myself all through lunch.
W/we were in the elevator heading back to the room so that Mac could do some work when I turned to Him and said that my list was wrong. I should have said:
4. Member of the Commonwealth.
He smiled at me and touched my cheek and when W/we got back to the room He simply said 'I want to fuck you again now.' And I said 'ok' and He did.
Then last night while W/we were talking and I was giggling about something He had done and He was smiling at me laughing, He said 'I want you' and He took me again. Because He can.
I am His.
And I like it that way too.