Kneeling before Him...
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Tuesday, March 30, 2004
I am feeling more than a little melancholy today. Mac thinks it is all rather girly and silly but I just can't help it. Today is the last day I will sit here next to my window to type to you lot. Tonight I pack up the computer so that the desk is bare and W/we are ready for it all to be moved. It all happened so fast. It is almost like a dream.
It was not that long ago that I was sitting here watching those big rough builders working with their hands across the road. In the mornings I would drink tea and imagine those calloused hands touching my soft skin, denting me, bruising me with their desire. I would be back here at lunchtime preferring them to any television show, making up stories in my head about what they ate and whom they talked about and where they went at night.
Mac watched me hunger for them and He lusted my desire, at times demanding it for His own. It amused Him to see me so taken by these men I was too scared to speak to and He often said that He should go and invite them in to feed. The weeks turned to months and the house was slowly built and I watched them drive away one night and I knew that they were gone.
Now I am going too.
I remember a time that I opened a new bottle of Pepsi in the kitchen and as I spun around to grab a glass the bottle slipped from my hand and hit the floor on it's bottom. It was like a volcano erupted from the middle of the floor. I squealed and Mac came running and stood at the door and laughed as the Pepsi sprayed to the ceiling and rained back down on me. I stared at Him helplessly and He laughed and laughed until I lunged for Him and hugged Him in my sodden clothes. He grunted (really He squealed but He says it was a grunt) and tried to push me away. I clung to Him the best that I could so He tripped me onto the floor and lay over me kissing me as the Pepsi dripped from the ceiling all around U/us.
'W/we can't.' I gasped.
'W/we have to.' He said.
And I found out W/we could after all as He fucked me in the puddle on the floor. For months afterwards no matter how many times W/we (I) cleaned the kitchen, W/we still found little spots of Pepsi W/we (I) had missed.
There is the bathtub and the shower and the place right here next to me on the floor and the hallway wall and the bedroom door. He feels like W/we are leaving behind some walls a ceiling and a floor. I feel like W/we are leaving behind memories.
'W/we can make new ones.' He said.
Last night Emma and I sat in the kitchen with some acrylics and painted pretty flowers and clouds on the boxes while we talked. We started to get undressed and Mac came into the kitchen to find us giggling madly at the "MAC'S SLUT" painted on our bellies. Each of our nipples was the centre of a flower and there were hearts and squiggles on our behinds. Mac backed away when I went towards Him but He didn't mind having control of the paintbrush and before long each of my nipples wore a smile. I pressed them against Emma's so that hers would smile too. Then I kissed her and the paint got all smooshed and neither of us really minded at all. I pulled her to the floor and Mac growled at the both of us and we turned to take care of His cock. We fought over it, each of us trying to take it in our mouths while we giggled at each other and at Mac. He growled a few more times and still we giggled as our tongues touched and once, just for a moment, we became lost inside each other's mouths. Mac didn't mind.
When He was in Emma's mouth I tried to sneak my tongue in beside Him and when He was in mine she did the same and by the time He came it was enough to cover us both with semen and we made a bigger mess as we both tried to take Him in our mouths again. Mac shook His head at us as we giggled even more and He told us we had to shower before we got into 'His' bed.
When we were all pink and clean we climbed into bed, just Emma and I, and we whispered secrets to each other like two little girls alone in the dark. And she whimpered. And she came. And I came too. And we fell asleep still murmuring and purring, filled with each other.
I fell in love with her so many times last night.
She is beautiful and she makes me feel beautiful too.