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Thursday, March 18, 2004
I have something to say that is a little out of line with what my journal is for. I am going to say it once and then move on.
I don't write a slave journal. I do not serve Mac. If you are looking for rules and rituals and correct behaviour for slaves forget about finding it here. In fact if Mac said to me, 'Hey wench, make me a cup of tea' my answer would be, 'Sod off and get it yourself. Oh and make me one while you are at it, ta!' Of course if He asked 'Hey wench, make me a cup of tea?' I would probably say 'Sure Babe' and run to do it. I am not saying it is wrong for a man to order you around if that's what you want, nor am I saying that serving someone is a bad thing. Sometimes I think it would be easier on me if W/we lived this way. But most of the time I appreciate that W/we don't and I am happy with the way W/we choose to live.
I also don't write a journal about my day-to-day life. I don't write here about the washing that I do, or the shower that I need to clean or even the little bit of paid work I do. That is not what this journal is for. Nor do I write about my family or friends and the problems that they like to share with me except in the way that they relate to my relationship with Mac.
What I do write about is the love and satisfaction that one submissive woman has found by submitting to a Man that she believes in. Yes I have doubts, yes I make mistakes and yes, Mac makes mistakes too, but W/we love each other enough to find ways to better communicate our problems and work it through. Isn't that what love is all about? I come here to write the lessons that I have learnt and how I deal with things and sometimes to help me find my way. Most of what I write is written here for Mac. It's here to show Him how much I love Him and how much I love the things He allows me to do and of course, it is here to entice Him to my bed. Some of the stuff is fantasy, but I tell you when it is, other than that I follow the one order Mac gave me when I started the blog. Be honest. If Mac comes across as perfect then maybe that's how I see Him. After all, I am the type of girl that believes in fairies. (Did I just call Mac a fairy?)
So to the people that don't believe that love like this can exist, that couples can go days and even weeks, possibly a month or more without any major issues cropping up, and that life can be sweet, guess what? It does and they can and it can too. I will also say that if you stick around it may change, who knows what wonderful delights my hormones will bring? I am not going to invent problems so my misery can make other people happy, so you will just have to deal with my contentment, I'm afraid.
And to the people that doubt Men like Mac can exist, hmmm what exactly are you submitting too? A lesser man? Seriously, is there anyone out there that doesn't believe in her Dominant? Is there anyone out there that is submitting to someone that isn't the best man He can be? If there is, I really would like to know. Drop me a line or two and tell me just what is wrong with the man you submit to, please?
Now I will return you to O/our regular programming.
I haven't written much about O/our sex life over the last couple of days, mainly because it has been quick intense sessions of lovemaking that have made Him late for work two days in a row. W/we just don't have time for long drawn out four-hour quickies right now. In fact W/we don't have time for much right now. Quick sex, quick conversation over breakfast and He is out the door. I am asleep before He gets home.
Mac has a habit of focusing on one aspect of sex that turns Him on and using that until He something else captures His lust. A month or so ago He decided that I gave the best blow jobs ever and for days on end all He wanted was to come in my mouth. Sometimes He will be fascinated with my tits and they will be bruised and sore for days. Then there was the first time I had been waxed and He spent days down there helping His tongue get used to the feel of it (boy that was hard to take, nods). It feels like O/our sex life happens in little blocks, a block of decadent come sharing sex, a block of gentle loving sex, a block of oral sex, a block of anal sex, a block of tit fucking. Toss in occasional group sex, a little bit of girlie sex and a side order of really rough sex and you have a sex life I enjoy very much.
I think it must be catching because these past few days I have an image in my mind I just can't shake. It's of me on a barstool with my panties around my knees and my legs lifted up into the air. There is a guy standing behind my legs with His cock pressing into my ass. Mac is holding my head back by my hair and His tongue is pressing in my mouth. It turns me on to think of me moaning because of another man and have Mac steal those moans from my mouth. I don't know why. Perhaps it was the time W/we spent with Ben.
Mac has been using it to make me come and come and come and then come some more and it has been rather yummy because usually when He is pressed for time He doesn't bother much with my orgasm at all. I don't really mind when He doesn't, I can take care of my orgasm myself but it is so much yummier when He is there.
Today when He woke Mac looked at me and said 'No' and I blinked at Him as innocently as I could. He said He didn't have time. He couldn't be late again so I would just have to go without. I went to say something and He covered my mouth and told me to hush, He really didn't have time. I nodded in agreement and when He took His hand away I told Him, as He didn't have time it was a good job I hadn't mentioned that my clitoris was throbbing and He groaned at me and stumbled out of bed.
So I face another day of being here on my own. I don't feel lonely though, I know He would be here if He could and I know that things will settle down. (Nods emphatically). Actually, around about now I should be getting worked up about it and I am not sure why I am not, maybe its because He looks so damn exhausted that I feel lucky He can remember where home is. The days are getting longer for both of U/us but W/we are both working towards a goal and pretty soon W/we will be back in routine again.
So nicki I am afraid that I can't help with your sex drive today, but stick around, when a Man is deprived of His normal sexual feeding, He becomes depraved when finally allowed near what He lusts. And when He becomes depraved, this girl gets devoured and I have a habit of telling everyone in this little place of mine. It's delicious.
At least with my Male it is.