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Monday, March 29, 2004
I would like to thank wench and blessing for the honest and open answers to the questions I asked them. Every single woman I asked these questions gave me more than I thought they would. Your beauty amazes me. Thankyou for being a part of my life, even if it is just through our journals.
Today I have very little to say due to a headache and the fact that spring always hits me like a freight train and I just want to curl up and sleep. Luckily, I have that option and intend on taking it.
In the meantime, if you haven't read this article on being a healthy submissive, I would recommend it. I actually found it years ago when I was questioning my right to choose how I live. Thankyou to Amber for pointing it out in one of her posts.
I would just like to mention that I feel submission and sadomasochism are in two different worlds, although at times they do overlap. Not all submissives enjoy pain. Not all doms enjoy inflicting pain. Not all masochists are submissive and not all sadists are doms. And funnily enough, not even the American Psychiatric Association believes that sexual sadomasochism is a mental disorder.
Ok, one more thing I really want to say. One of the questions that I asked each of the women was "What last made you throw your head back and scream with laughter until you couldn't laugh any more?" This was a question that personally meant a lot to me. The person that I do this with, the one that I feel totally free to really let my guard down and laugh until I can't breath is not Mac or Emma (although Emma and I have had some giggle fits that are out of control) or even my best friend Christine. It is my big sister.
The last time we did it, we had both been in a pissy mood all day and had taken to making snide remarks at each other while out shopping together. Towards the end of the day, we were standing outside a theatre waiting for her daughter to come out of a dance rehearsal surrounded by other parents from my niece's school. For whatever reason, I looked up and noticed that the clouds coming over the top of the building made me feel like we were moving and the clouds were stationary. I pointed this out to my sister and she looked up and started to sway to stay upright. I started to laugh. She started to laugh and within minutes we were on the ground in tears, choking, gasping for air and still laughing. The parents around us were all staring and whispering to each other and that made us laugh more. When we finally got it under control, my sister said, "oh god, they will all think we are on drugs" and that started us off again.
My niece came out of the theatre to find us still on the concrete laughing uncontrollably and she rolled her eyes and asked if we had to do this in public and of course that set us off again. She walked away to stand somewhere else so that we didn't embarrass her any more than we already had. I don't know how long we stayed there for but when we were finished we were both emotionally drained and I hugged her really tight and told her I loved her.
Some days I think about the people in my life who love me and I realise I have nothing to complain about at all.