Kneeling before Him...
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Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Mac has been working really hard. Friday morning was the last time He actually took some time off and most of that He slept away with jet lag. He worked all of Saturday until Ben arrived and then all Sunday morning and Sunday afternoon, with just a few hours to spare for lunch. Monday I saw Him briefly before W/we climbed into bed and yesterday He was gone by the time I woke up. Although W/we both tried to phone several times, W/we never got to talk, just left a series of messages on each other's voice mail. I smiled when I got in from having dinner with Emma to see that He had left me an email. I know He was thinking about me and it made me warm inside, and even His last message saying He wouldn't make it home before I was asleep couldn't bring me down.
I wrote Him a note and stuck it on the fridge because I knew He would see it there:
I hope that things get easier for You soon. I wish I could be more help.
It has been really strange of late, normally when I am here alone I wake at the slightest noise, but lately Mac has been able to sneak in and I have stayed fast asleep, I think I must recognise His sound.
So I don't know what time it was, but I woke lying on my belly and I realised that there was a man laying over me, making love to me in the most careful of ways. His movements were gentle and so agonisingly slow that I burst into uncontrolled tears. He tensed.
'Oh baby, Sarah baby,' He whispered. 'Don't cry baby, I am here. I am sorry about today, things will slow down, please don't cry.'
'I am not crying,' I sobbed into the pillow. (I think He knew that I was lying.) 'I just wish that I could help You out more.'
'Just be patient with me baby, that's all I need from you right now. I need to know that you will be alright when I come home.'
I sobbed into the pillow some more. 'I just love You so much.'
I felt His body smile. The whole time I was crying and He was whispering, He never stopped sneaking into my body and back out again. It was slow, so slow that I thought that I would explode if He didn't ram into me soon. But He didn't and I didn't. I came ever so softly so that instead of rolling over me in waves, it just kind of lapped at me around the edges. He kissed my neck and shoulders and my cheek and I turned my head and He slipped His tongue between my lips, still stealing His cock from me and then sneaking it back into me again.
He came like that, without speeding up or slowing down, without any biting or much growling, just His cock deep inside the woman that He loves. It seemed that it was all He needed. He lay on me a moment, crushing me, regaining the breath that His orgasm had taken before rolling to the side. W/we both fell asleep.
When I woke this morning, I turned to Mac, whispering at Him and stroking His cheek gently till He woke. I asked Him if it had been a dream. He smiled at me and assured me it had been real and He slipped His hand between my legs to prove it. I ground myself into His fingers and He smiled with His eyes still closed and called me an insatiable slut. I grinned and ground into His fingers again. He shifted His hand so that two fingers were inside me and His thumb was pressed against my clitoris and I came rather quickly and very hard, so much harder than I had come through the night.
I asked how He had managed to get Himself inside me while I was sleeping and He chuckled and said that I was easy, even in my sleep. He brought His fingers to my mouth and I licked them clean and He was back asleep before I finished. I laid His hand on my chest between my breasts and watched Him for a little while.
I thought about my two orgasms, the differences in the way they felt and why. The first was purely from the love I felt for Him and the second was a tension release. I surprised myself. I didn't realise I was tense but there is still something sitting just below the surface waiting. I don't know what it is, and I don't know how I will react when it finally reaches the top but I know that things are changing between Mac and I. The love is deeper, the friendship stronger and the feelings more intense. W/we have created something so very beautiful together by entwining O/our lives and I am not sure how I would cope without Him. I guess I would survive. I don't want to go back to being like that.
When I came here to blog there was a note stuck to my computer screen:
You are a good girl. Thankyou for understanding.
Love you too.
He has asked me to be patient.
How can I possibly deny Him that?