I have been thinking a lot about BDSM since I was told that the terms B&D D/s and S&M all meant the same thing. Maybe to some people they do, but to me each has a different meaning. I am not going to go into each one individually and try and define them all as I am sure that everyone of us has our own meaning to put to each, but in O/our relationship, the D/s is something that W/we consider to be personality traits and not a role that W/we take on. Mac and I react to each other in a D/s way or, as Mac prefers to say, a Male/female way.

To me the D/s is not about calling Him Master, or kneeling at His side. It isn't about obeying Him for the sake of obeying and it isn't a gift I give Him. It is a part of me that I need to have filled. I need to please Him. I need to fill His desires. I need to be the reason that He looks beside Him and smiles. I need Him to go off and slay the corporate beasts and bring home the spoils for U/us. I need Him laying over me, hot and sweaty and pulsing with lust. I need to love Him. I need to trust Him. I need to know that I belong to Him. He is my Lover, my Protector, my Friend and my Provider. Without that, I am only half the person I can be.

Right now, W/we are both tired and unsettled. He is frustrated at work and with the move and with not having enough time to get all the things He needs to get done and still have time for me and time for sleep too. The D/s in O/our relationship doesn't disappear when this happens, it is not something W/we need to make time for. In fact W/we are reacting to it in a very D/s way. He is frustrated and I sense it in Him. I can't help Him with it and it bothers me. He sees me bothered and it frustrates Him more. I see Him even more frustrated and it upsets me more. It will continue on down if W/we don't stop it, W/we both know that.

Conversely, if I am submitting to Him, His natural dominance will show through and that will make me submit more and He will dominate more and I will feel content and He will feel it too.

So last night when He came home from work I didn't complain that He still had work to do. He could have stayed at the office, but chose to come home and be around me. I made Him coffee and I sat in the room with Him and quietly unpacked as much of the study things that I could without disturbing Him. W/we talked a little, I let Him lead the conversation, falling silent when He did, letting Him get done what needed doing.

When I was finished all I could do, I told Him I was going to have a shower and I kissed the back of His neck and He shooed me away like I was a fly. I giggled. As I got out of the shower He started talking to me again. I could hear Him from the study and I was answering Him as I towelled off. I went into the bedroom and I had every intention of getting dressed. Really I did. There were still things I could do before bed so I was going to throw on something light and do them, but as I stood in the bedroom listening to Him call out to me about needing to have a word to the cleaner at the office because the bathrooms there were just getting filthier, I thought bugger it and climbed onto the bed. Just as He was explaining about the fingerprints on the walls I happened to ask if He knew that I was still naked. There was a moment of silence. Then He said that He didn't know that and started talking about the dirt in the sink and I started laughing and I could hear Him coming down the hall as He spoke.

He stood at the bedroom door and shook His head at the giggling naked woman on His bed.

'Come here and kiss me,' He said. I crawled off the bed as He moved towards me and my lips found His. W/we kissed and as O/our tongues tangled together His fingers found my nipples and my fingers released His cock. He told me to suck it and I eagerly went to my knees to take Him into my mouth. I held His cock lightly and licked at His balls and nuzzled Him against my cheek. I could smell His precum so I leaned back to taste it and I made a line of spit and precum between my tongue and the tip of His cock while looking up at Him. He groaned, pulled me to my feet and pushed me back on the bed.

I played with my clitoris as He threw off His shirt and got rid of the pants from around His knees. He laid opposite me and pulled me over Him and I took His cock back into my mouth. He spread me open with His fingers and His tongue pressed inside me. I tried to ignore His probing, concentrating on His cock but within a minute I was coming and gasping for air around Him.

He told me He wanted to come in my mouth, but He wanted to be inside my pussy first, so I moved off Him and opened my legs to take Him inside me. His cock was wet with my spit and I was wet from His tongue so He slid easily inside me. It was like He belonged there. I wrapped my legs around Him pulling Him in deeper and used my muscles to suck at His cock. W/we kissed, then He shifted so He could suck on my breasts. His teeth held my nipple and I came again, letting myself contract naturally on Him. He growled and I knew He was close and I begged Him to come in my mouth because He had said that He wanted too. He refused, and held back, telling me He hadn't had enough of being inside me yet. I told Him that I only wanted to please Him, I only wanted whatever He wanted, I just wanted to make it right. He held me and kissed me again and He made love to me. I raised my hips to meet His and I contracted my muscles. I twisted my fingers in His hair and sucked on His tongue. I did all the things I know He loves and still He held back and made me come again.

I called His name over and over, gripping His cock so tightly with my pussy that I don't know how it didn't hurt. Nothing existed in my world except Him and the pleasure He was giving me. He was as breathless as I was and I could feel Him sitting right on the edge of orgasm and He just would not give in.

'Baby,' He gasped. 'I want... to fuck... your ass.'

I begged Him to do it. He withdrew and I turned over to my tummy and raised my ass in the air. He pressed Himself against my ass. And He pressed, and pressed and pressed and I cried as the head of His cock slipped in. He stroked my back and whispered to me to relax and He slowly slid the rest of the way in. He lay over me, His arm curled around so that His fingers were sliding over my clitoris and He gently rocked His hips. I shuddered at the sensations running through my body and then His fingers were inside my pussy and I knew He was stroking His cock through the wall of my vagina and I came again, sobbing, begging Him to come, begging for His semen and He growled at me and finally gave in.

He collapsed against me while He was still coming inside me. I lowered myself onto the bed, smiling smugly, content that my Male had been pleased by me again. He kissed my cheek and stayed over me, making me feel small and helpless beneath Him.

'Sarah?' He whispered.
'Mmmhmm?'
'You shouldn't tell me you are naked.'
'Uh huh, I know. When I tell You I am naked I get incredible sex. Won't make THAT mistake again.'

He chuckled against my neck and even though He had work to do He stayed with me and snuggled up to me and I think W/we both fell asleep.

I woke at some god-awful time and realised that Mac wasn't in the bed. I tiptoed out into the hall and saw the light on in the study. He heard me come in and smiled at me. When I slid my arms around His neck He pulled me into His lap and W/we sat together like that for a while. I didn't keep Him long, I knew He still had things to do and the darkness under His eyes gave away just how tired He was. He kissed me and sent me back to bed.

He didn't get Easter off. If He took the four days, it would mean He had to work twice as hard for a week to catch up, but the reports He put in on the work that He has done this month has convinced the people in charge that He needs three full time employees to do the work He has been doing so that He will have time to actually do His job. I wont pretend that I am not disappointed about Easter, but I will change O/our plans so that W/we can celebrate with family around His schedule and it will still be a special day. I am happy that there will be people to help Him because W/we will get O/our life back soon.

And W/we both need that.