Kneeling before Him...
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Saturday, April 17, 2004
If you scroll down my links list, you will come across a Kinky Weblog Award. This was sent to me by nicki from A slave's Heart in appreciation of my blog. I would like to thank nicki very much for this honour.
I went out because I miss the interaction. I went out because I was looking for some fun. I wanted to find someone who could make my nipples ache, my pussy muscles clench, my mind wander. I went out because Mac wasn't home again and Friday nights are hell when you are on your own.
I sat with friends. The ones I knew would be there. We talked and we laughed and we had a good time. There was no flirting with them. It is hard to impress people that know you so well. Besides the inevitable 'Where's Mac?' dampened any fun that started there.
I cruised the bar, looking for a set of eyes that didn't turn away. I was definitely hunting, but for what? Sex? Nah, I can get that anytime. Dominance? In a way, because I crave that like a thirst. What I really wanted was desire, I wanted to be wanted. I wanted to feel his lust. I wanted him to take me to a point where my hunger was such that I wanted to kneel before him and beg him to take me home. I wanted someone that would tell me no. I wasn't looking for someone to go home with. I wanted to ache for something I can't have.
Mac always used to be the one to tell me no. He could make my nipples harden with a casual glance and force my muscles to clench with just a word or two. He played me like a well-tuned instrument. No, more like an orchestra, bringing forth the responses from each section that He required. He used me as His toy, taking me to the very edge and letting me dangle my feet over, but never allowing me to fall. He told me once it was the dance that made the night worthwhile. He wasn't interested in the ride home.
So dance W/we did, often and decadently, enjoying each other's responses. He always sent me home alone. I wanted that again.
I went home disappointed. There was no one there that could hold my gaze let alone someone there that knew how to dance. I trudged up the stairs and headed towards my room when I noticed Mac slouched against the doorway of His study. I jumped, both from the surprise of Him being there and from the tiny thread of guilt that ran through my mind. I felt so naked under His gaze. My nipples hardened.
'So,' He said quietly. 'Did you find what you were looking for?' He shifted to slouch more comfortably.
How the bloody hell could He know? Am I that transparent?
'No' I whispered staring at the floor. He chuckled.
'Didn't think you would.' A pause. 'Well I have work to do, don't stay up too late. You are still not sleeping right. I want you in bed soon.'
My muscles clenched.
'Will You come to bed too?' I asked hopefully.
'When I am ready to I will, girl.'
My muscles clenched again. He turned away to go back to the desk. I watched Him move, wanting Him, needing Him, knowing what He would say.
'Mac?' I asked tentatively and my breath caught in the moment He turned back to face me. He can still do that to me.
'Sarah?' He answered while His blue eyes sparkled.
'You still make me ache for You.'
He took a moment to drink me in, His eyes darting over my breasts, to my groin, the length of my skirt, my stockinged legs and high heels before returning to the desire etched upon my face.
'I know.' He said and turned away again to sit at His desk.
I love You so much.