Speaking of black haired tarts...

I first met Jen about 7 or 8 months ago. Mac was away and I was at the pub with a few of the people we normally hang out with. Jen came in with a woman that I already knew. Jen and I hit it off. She invited me to lunch with a few other women and I was quite excited about it, I don't make friends with women easily and I really did like Jen.

The lunch went well. I got along with everyone, but I got along even better with Jen. It was great. I come home all excited, Jen this, Jen that. I thought Jen was just wonderful. I wanted Mac to meet her. Mac wanted to meet her too because I raved about her so much.

One Saturday, Mac went to the pub for lunch because Emma and I were out shopping and He would much rather have lunch with the boys than shop with the girls. Emma and I are more relaxed shopping with out Him anyway. He just looks at His watch and sighs a lot. I called Him when we girls were on our way home. Mac said He would finish up His drink and head home as well. As He hung up, Jen walked into the pub with one of our friends who introduced her to Mac. Mac said that I had mentioned her and she smiled. He told her He hated to be rude, but that He had to leave and she put her hand on His arm and asked Him not to go. He smiled at her and left.

He told me this when He got home. I frowned a little. It seemed to me to be a little bit presumptuous of her to touch Him and ask Him to stay. I pushed it away. I was overreacting I was sure.

The next time we bumped into Jen at the pub Mac and I were together. We were laughing a lot and touching a lot and teasing each other about food and sex and Mac's lack of enthusiasm for cuddling. Jen tried to cut in between us but when Mac and I are on a roll it's hard to stop us from being completely caught up in each other. Jen said something about not getting any attention here and went to sit with someone else. Mac looked at me and shrugged. I sighed. It didn't look like this friendship was going to work out after all.

Later on that night, when I was at the bar on my own, Jen come up and asked for my mobile phone number. I told her that I don't give it out to anyone. She got angry and said that she doesn't give her phone number out to just anyone either. She had given me her mobile number when we were at lunch. I told her I was sorry but my mobile is only for people to contact me in an emergency so only Mac, my mother and sister have the number. She stormed off in a huff. I told Mac what had happened and He went to talk to Jen and tried to explain that I hate my mobile and only have it as a safety precaution. She told Him to save His breath. We were both sure she would cool off about it. That was 6 or 7 months ago. She still hasn't spoken a word to me.

At first I would say hello and she would deliberately snub me, so I just stopped trying. Now we just ignore each other for the most part. If I know the answer to a question she is asking the group I will answer. I like watching her squirm when she has to take my answer as right.

Never stopped her talking to Mac though. Especially when I am not there. She has told Him that she is good in bed, in fact I think what she said was along the lines of, 'if you had sex with me, it would be an experience you would never forget' to which Mac replied 'that's nice dear' and walked off. She has also done things like follow Him out to His car to say goodnight, told Him she was available if He should want anything, invited Him to her place, complained when He goes to leave and asked Him if He still has a 'thing' with Sarah. Mac mostly ignores it, tells her He isn't interested, says no thanks and told her that He very much still has a 'thing' with Sarah. She still tries.

I think the best time of all was when Mac and I were at the pub together and were getting ready to leave. I told Mac I needed to go to the bathroom and He said He would wait in the car. I didn't know this but while I was in the bathroom Jen walked in and made a line straight for Mac and did the whole 'hello Mac its so nice to see you' thing. Mac said 'Actually I am just leaving,' and He did. I come out of the bathroom and walked up behind where Jen was sitting in time to hear her say to someone at the table 'Well at least Sarah let's Mac talk to you. He isn't allowed to talk to me.' I stood there not quite sure what to say when the girl sitting next to Jen said 'Oh come on, Mac is not the type of man that allows anyone to tell him what to do, ever. That's why everyone likes him so much.' (I could have kissed her.) I said 'Well in all the years I have known Him He has always done exactly what He wanted to do.' I think Jen jumped about 3 feet into the air and she went a lovely shade of red. I said goodnight and walked out the door. It was just brilliant.

So last night we went out and Jen was there. She tried to corner Mac in a conversation but He played ignorant (brilliantly) and she got frustrated with Him and walked off. I couldn't look at Him or I was going to laugh. Later she approached Him as He was coming back from fixing up the bar and He told her He couldn't talk, as we were about to go. She asked Him not to leave. He said bye to her and she called Him a beguiler. He told me about it when we got into the car and asked me what I thought she meant by it. I told Him I have no clue, although perhaps she meant 'want to fuck?'

I would be worried about Jen, only Mac tells me all about her and it obviously annoys Him that she thinks He will go sniffing around her just because she has offered to spread her legs. He finds women that think He should want them a turn off. Mac is always going to fall for the girl who loves Him quietly, never for the one that tosses herself at His feet. He also thinks that Jen is not quite all there and borders on being obsessive. He calls her the 'bunny boiler.' (Is there anyone out there that hasn't seen Fatal Attraction?)

So last night we were sitting on the couch together, teasing, touching, snuggling, talking, and just generally mucking around when I told Mac I was going to love Him forever. He said He was ok with that, but of course I may have to arm wrestle Jen for Him. I pointed out that if He wanted Jen, then He didn't deserve to be with me and He could have her. He pinned me down and told me that if He wanted Jen He would have done two things by now: a) had her and b) locked away all domestic pets. I pointed out we didn't have any domestic pets. He grinned at me. I kissed Him and for a while we forgot to talk.

So really, I am not worried about Jen. At all. Not in the slightest.

I think I will go pick out a pair of kittens today.