Have the girls (and maybe the guys, I don't know) ever had one of those experiences when you look at someone and instantly you connect? Ever been in one of the most unlikely places and had your heart start to race and your face flush and felt like the other person was touching your soul? Have you ever felt like that person was a breath away, a few words away from entwining your lives forever? Ok I am being melodramatic here, but I hope you all understand what I mean.

That happened to me yesterday, in a shopping mall of all places. I was just walking along between stores when all of a sudden he was there, walking towards me. The first glance I had was directly into his eyes. I almost jumped from the shock. My heart felt like it missed two beats then it raced along at an alarming pace. I blushed. I felt the heat creep up my neck. I suddenly felt awkward, stupid, like a teenager caught staring at her object of lust, but really, I had just glanced at him. I took the chance and looked back at him again. There was the faint trace of a smile on his lips. The bastard knew what he was doing to me and he was enjoying it too. I smiled back, just the tiny start of a smile really, and I lowered my eyes and glanced away. Suddenly I was flirting with him, this guy I had never said a word to. I glanced up again and he was there right beside me. The moment was now. The breath, one word, I would have stopped. It didn't happen. He moved past me and was gone. I didn't look back. I doubt he did either. We had let the moment pass.

The whole thing probably took less than 10 seconds and yet I didn't stop thinking about him all day. He had that much of an impression on me that I am still thinking about him this morning. I have let myself wonder what he smelt like, what he sounded like, what he tasted like and how he felt. His body looked built, tight, but it was hard to really tell without him naked and most of him was covered in clothes. His hair was cropped short and I wondered what it would feel like against the palms of my hands. He was dressed smartly, suit pants and shirt, I guess he was on a lunch break, and I have to admit that I wondered what it would be like to have my wrists bound by his tie. I wondered what would have happened if I accidentally slipped my hand into his? Would he have protected me and loved me and been my friend, or would he have laughed and called me a silly girl? Perhaps he would have simply fucked me and walked away. I wonder which one I really wanted him to do? I wonder if my thoughts strayed so far because Mac is away?

It wasn't the first time this has happened of course. It happened with Mac, that moment when I felt an instant connection. Only Mac didn't feel it, He was blissfully unaware. That one happened for me alone. For Mac the connection started slowly and grew. So perhaps that was just attraction, although, it felt like something more. I knew that no matter what, Mac belonged in my life.

I always find that difference between Mac and I so strange. He is so guarded about letting anyone get too near. He takes time to warm to people, to allow them to see the real Mac and He allows very few people in. I pretty much trust everyone until they have actually hurt me. Then I shut down on that person for a while. Usually though, I will forgive people their mistakes and allow them to get close and hurt me again. I very rarely protect myself and I guess that is just another reason I need Him.

Mac will definitely be back between Thursday and Monday, depending on flight availability, bomb threats, strikes, floods, snakes, boils and plagues of locusts. (I threw the last two in for fun. The others really are factors. Snakes are trapping people in apartments because of the flooding. I am not allowed to joke about snakes.) So until He gets here the sex is on hold.

Good lord though, I want to get laid.