Kneeling before Him...
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Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Words fail me. How do I convey to readers what I feel? He did it to me again last night. He reached into my chest and touched my heart.
He touched it gently, caressing it and cradling it in His hands. He showed me how beautiful and precious it is to Him. I needed it. I had forgotten again.
You see, these last few days I have been feeling everything intensely. I have cried over radio announcements and laughed at my own tears. I have slipping into ranting anger at the injustices in the world and fallen silent and brooding over nothing at all. I have loved Him so deeply that I haven't had the words to tell Him and the best I could do was put my hand over His heart and say 'I love You.' He would take my hand and kiss my fingertips. I knew that He didn't feel it, He didn't get the depth or understand the adoration and it scared me that we could be so far apart while we were so close together. It frightened me that I could feel so alone while He was holding on to me.
Then last night we were just mucking around, telling jokes, being silly, making each other laugh and it slipped so easily into sex. The sex then became something more. I held His face between my hands and gently licked inside His mouth while He stayed perfectly still. I used my muscles to caress Him and I needed Him so badly that I thought that I might burst. He felt it, felt my need, felt my desperation to please Him and He came so hard and deep inside me that I was filled completely with Him.
He lay over me and touched my cheek and whispered to me softly. This is His favourite way to come. I was surprised. He hadn't been moving, just leaving His cock inside me. There had only been the use of my muscles and the gentle probings of my tongue. He smiled at me.
'There is so much more to it than that. It's not just about what you do to my cock and my mouth. It's about you. Your drive to please me, the way you strive for my orgasm, knowing that it is what you desire most of all and seeing how you use your body to take it from me, that is what makes it my favourite of all ways to come.'
And of all the men I have slept with and all the times I slept with them, I have never known another man to allow His brain to rule His cock when it comes to sex. They always put friction before anything else at all. I told Him this. He shrugged.
'Well they missed out.' He said. 'When you are like that, soft and gentle, tongue probing, pussy caressing, concentrating on my pleasure it is as feminine a thing as any woman has ever done in the history of mankind. How could I not love that? It is so beautiful Sarah. You are such a beautiful girl.'
He gathered me up into His arms and held me tightly while I cried some of the feeling out.
I know I haven't managed to express what passed between us. I know that I cannot hope to make you all feel it too. I am still feeling everything so very intensely but now I am not alone, Mac is with me. It makes the kisses taste sweeter and the touches more electric and it soothes my heart, which had been feeling a little raw.
It wont last, I know it will fade when my period appears and I wont be completely sad to see it go. It is as exhausting as it is wonderful and it would be too hard to maintain. It is something that is not meant to be all the time.
But for now we will make the most of it.