Kneeling before Him...



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Friday, January 14, 2005

John asked if I was hot and said he would like to see a photograph and that gives me a little opening to something I wanted to say on here, so thank you John.

Photos are not going to happen. Not now, not ever. The reason for this is very simple really. I am very open here, very honest with my thoughts and feelings. I am very open about my sex life with Mac and my fantasies. I have written about my past before Mac, and my past with Mac and at times it has included some things that were not mainstream. For example, whilst in Turkey, I spent a lunchtime making about a dozen men come. Now to be perfectly honest with you, I do not want someone from my home town coming up to me in the street and saying 'Hey, aren't you that Sarah chick from that submissive site that shagged all those guys?' Just the idea of it makes my stomach turn. And lets face it, it really is a small world and it could happen.

I have not been as subtle as I could have been in this blog. I do know that if Mac's family or my family or even some of our friends happened across this little blog of mine, they would recognise us. I mean really, how many Aussie girls are there living with Welsh rugby players that travel a lot, have a sister with five children after losing a daughter to a mystery illness five years ago, and have three cats named Pickle, Sugar and Spice? If they found it, we would deal with it together. Yes, my sister, my mother, and especially my father would never see me in the same light again, but they love me and would learn to cope with the things I have done, as would Mac's family. Of course I would prefer they didn't find it, and in no way do I encourage them to do so.

But putting up pics opens Mac and I up for complete strangers to find. It would no longer just be a parent or sibling or friend that knew, it would be someone that could embarrass both our families and there is no excuse for me to open them to that. It also opens us up to Mac's bosses and Mac's subordinates at work and anyone that wants to hurt us in any way they can. It opens us up to hurt the people we love. If we were recognised, then how long would it be before someone found Emma and even Ben. They do not deserve to be hurt by what I have written about them. I will not open them up to that.

I suppose I could post teaser pics, anonymous body parts, an arm, a leg, a breast or an ass, that sort of thing. But first I would have to buy a digital camera, and the way I see it, the web is full of pics so much more artistic than I could ever be even if I knew how to use the thing. And really, when it comes down to it, I am not interested in messing around with your vision, if I wanted to do that I would put on a short skirt and tight blouse and go shopping so I could watch the guys that turn back for another look. If I am going to show off my body I want to see the reaction to it. I am after much more than that here. My words are meant to touch your heart and stimulate your mind. They are meant to make you think about more than just the feeling in your groin. They are meant to help me see that I am not the only one with these wicked thoughts and feelings and I am not alone in the things that turn me on. I know that at times I fail in this, there are times when the sex is all I have written about and all you see, but I also know at times I have touched some of the people that read here, enough of you have told me that you feel it for me to believe that overall, I have made this place what I want it to be.

So what do I look like? Well, I look like a girl, probably not all that different from every girl you know. I may be shorter than some, taller than some, fatter, thinner, have bigger, smaller tits, and longer, shorter, darker, lighter hair but I still have all the right girl body parts in all the right girl places. I am beautiful, but I have come to believe that is because of the person that I am and strive to be, not the make up or the clothes that I wear. At parties I attract more than the average amount of male attention. Mac tells me it is because so many of them can smell that I am on heat but it is something that I have always been able to do and I believe it has more to do with the way I think than with the amount of cleavage I have. Mostly I am a lot of fun to be around.

Does this make me hot? I don't know. Different people have different ideas of what is hot. Mac thinks I am and I have to say, that is just fine by me.

Posted by Sarah McBroden at 7:29 am

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