Kneeling before Him...
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Friday, February 25, 2005
Yesterday I went outside to stand in the garden because I wanted too. I have been trapped inside for days and days. I had been standing in the kitchen looking out at the garden and discovered that I suddenly just needed to be outside. I grabbed my coat and threw it on and rugged up in it and ducked out the back before Mac caught me and stopped me. I am supposed to stay warm. I quickly walked down into the garden and for a moment, I just stood there, happy just to stand and breathe and be outside.
It wasn't long before I heard the back door open and I waited for Mac to call me inside, but He didn't. Instead He came out. He only had on His jeans and a rugby top. He stuck His hands in His pockets as He made His way across the grass towards me and He looked so cute that I had to smile. He saw me smile and smiled too. I felt my breath catch in my throat. His smiles still stun me.
"Hey" He said. "It's cold out here."
"Uh huh, it is." I said.
He came over and stood beside me. I went back to looking at the garden. Mac looked at the garden too.
"You know, we have done a lot to this place." He said. "We have made it into our home."
I smiled again. I knew that Mac had bought this place as an investment. I also knew that He and I are going to grow old together, raise our children, love our grandchildren and keep making this place our home. I see it as a different type of investment. Not in terms of money, but in terms of our future. Our home is going to play a major part because I have no doubt that we belong here.
We were still both just standing there looking over the garden when Mac took my hand and pulled my glove off so He could hold it properly. My hand always looks so tiny and delicate inside of His.
"Sarah," He said, frowning, "I know that I don't spoil you as much as other men would and I know I don't tell you enough how much you mean to me. I am not really one for saying 'I love you'. But I promise you that no one could ever love you more than I do. You are my girl."
I squeezed His hand, unsure of what to say. Mac always lets me know how much I mean to Him, but it has only been lately that He has been more verbal about it. It is almost like it sneaks up on Him and surprises Him at times. I know how He feels. It does that to me too. I felt so happy, just standing there in our garden holding His hand that I wouldn't have minded staying there like that forever.
Then Mac moved in front of me and slipped down onto one knee. There was a ring in His hand that had come from the pocket of His jeans. He put it over my finger.
"Sarah, will you marry me?"
And I had a speech prepared. I knew exactly what I was going to say. I had rehearsed it until I had it word perfect. But with Him right there in front of me, well...
"Yes" I said. "Yes yes yes yes yes."
Mac slipped the ring onto my finger and stood up and I threw myself at Him. If I was any bigger and He was any smaller we both would have ended up on the ground. Instead Mac just held onto me. I kissed Him and I kissed Him again. I told Him that I love Him. I told Him that I love Him a whole lot.
"Babe, I love you too. Really I do, but do you think we could do this loving inside? It is fucking freezing out here."
"Sure." I laughed and climbed down off Him and took His hand and dragged Him inside.
I practically threw Him into a chair and sat on His lap so I could kiss Him some more. He didn't seem to mind.
"Hey," He said while I was kissing His jaw, "do I have to ask your Dad?"
"I don't know." I frowned. "Do You want to ask my Dad?"
"Seems a bit odd. 'Ummm look, I know I have been kind of fucking your little girl witless and living in sin and dragging her into debauchery and all that but, ok if we tie the old proverbial?'"
I laughed. "Yeah that is a little strange."
"Actually, I will talk to him. Have to sort out the dowry and all that. How many camels did you say he has?"
"HEY!" I said. "You should be paying him for me!"
"Oh right," He rolled His eyes. "No really, I think for the sake of tradition he should throw in a camel or two, maybe a Marlboro, a Kingston lite..."
I shook my head and tried not to giggle and then I kissed Him some more.
And the ring is just perfect, a simple diamond solitaire. It is elegant and delicate and petite, just like me. (HA!) Really, it is just beautiful and it looks just right on my hand. He told me that when He saw it in the jeweller's He thought 'Sarah should have that ring' so He bought it, before Christmas. Before I even mentioned marriage to Him.
It has the strangest effect on me. I have only had it a day and I catch a glimpse of it while I am washing my hands or when I am reaching into a drawer or putting a canvas on the easel and the world stops and my eyes get all watery. Mac saw me do it just once.
"Girls!" He said in exasperation, but He smiled and He kissed me.
I am going to be Mac's wife!
I am so happy I could cry (again)!