Kneeling before Him...
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Friday, April 08, 2005
This being sick thing is quite odd. It scares Mac in a way I have never seen Him scared before. It's like this is something that is out of His control, He can't fix it, He just has to wait for me to heal and it makes Him feel a little helpless. He made up for it yesterday by fussing over me a little. I was frowned at when I "just had to do this". I was spoken to quite sternly when I was out of bed for a silly reason. I was only allowed a small amount of time at the computer then He sent me back to bed.
And I kept imagining I looked like Kate Winslet in Finding Neverland, a tragic heroine, ill, frail, but still dignified and beautiful (with great tits.) He said I had a closer resemblance to something from Return of the Living Dead.
This morning I had some physio done on my lungs. They seem to want to beat the cough out of me and I have to admit, it made me feel a little better. I know it will get worse again as night comes on but I am breathing much more freely now. Mac came with me this morning, to hold my hand when it hurt too much and He kept telling me dirty jokes to make me smile. When we got home He went to His study to work and I came to Him, clip in hand and asked Him if I could just wear it for a while. He said that if I put it on, I would have to understand that His cock would throb and ache with need for release and that He would need to suck on my pussy and fuck me with His tongue. I decided to take that risk.
He wasn't exactly gentle with me, though He did make concessions for my difficulty breathing and decided not to fuck my throat. He made me come with His teeth pulling on the clip and then He sucked all of the juices He could gather from me into His mouth. His semen is still wet on my tits. Then we snuggled up together in His reading chair, me sitting on His lap feeling all small and frail and Kate Winslet-y again, Him stroking my hair and my back.
"Remember the day when you offered me your breasts?" He asked.
I smiled, like that is something I could forget. "Yes," I said and kissed His cheek, "it was beautiful, wasn't it?"
"It was you that was being offered."
I nodded. "Yes."
"You must have been so scared."
"Actually, I fully expected You to turn me away. I wasn't playing, but I thought You were."
"No baby. He said. "You didn't. You wouldn't have dared offer me so much."
"But I had offered it to You before."
"Before, you had said 'ya know McBroden, I could probably find it in me to let you fuck me if I tried hard enough."
I laughed. "I never said that!"
He smiled, "No you never said that, but I hadn't really realised how fully you were laying yourself open. I am not sure now if I even realised that day that you were offering yourself so completely."
I kissed His cheek again. "It is the only way I know how to offer myself, it is either completely or not at all."
"I know that now. You gave me your heart to keep and I have no intention of dropping it."
"I gave You my heart a long time before You accepted the rest of me."
"Yeah, I guess you did."
"You held it all through 'the dom' and Greg and even before that, through the break-up with the ex."
"Well, I didn't really know that. I thought you had sneaked in and taken it back."
"Nah, why do You think I always ran back to You when ever my heart hurt?"
He smiled. "I knew you hadn't when I told you that to make you better you were going to have to submit to me and you were so glad to."
"It was a huge relief to me. I needed someone else to be in charge."
"The die was cast then. I loved you so much, like a broken bird, you know?"
"Uh huh." I said, kissing Him some more.
"Couldn't tell you though."
"Had to be sure, couldn't risk hurting you again. You were too fragile. Then you offered me your breasts and said 'they are yours' and I was sure. I needed to know I wanted you forever and I do."
I kissed Him full on the mouth, a beautiful perfect kiss full of love and happiness.
"Now bugger off. I need to work." He said.
I burst out laughing.
"What?" He asked innocently.
"That, 'I love you, now bugger off'. It's so You." I said.
"Well I am busy." He grinned.
"You weren't too busy to come."
He shrugged and asked me for one more kiss.
He loves me so protectively when I am sick.
I am keeping Him forever, I swear.