Kneeling before Him...



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Friday, May 20, 2005

I would like to say that things between Mac and I are better and I guess in some ways they are. It's not great though, just a little better. He is still mad busy and though in my head I understand that and I know He doesn't choose to be, it doesn't stop me from feeling lonely and when He comes home late at night and within five minutes of walking in the door He is rushing to get even more work finished, knowing that He is tired and doesn't want to be doing it doesn't stop me from being hurt.

I can't stop that from happening no matter how much I try to rationalise it in my head, anymore than He can stop the work from needing to be done. We just have to weather the storm. Right now we are being open and talking with each other and we both know what is happening. I am thankful that we had that weekend together before all this started. I have no clue how long it will go on.

I woke this morning with my period and I have gone from wanting desperately to be roughed up and hurt to wanting to curl up in a ball on His lap and make Him come. Then I can sleep while He watches over me. The good thing is I know my emotional over-reaction will probably stop in the next couple of days.

It should make things much easier around here.

Posted by Sarah McBroden at 7:00 am

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