I am in the middle of writing something for here, but my mind is faltering right now and I need to put it aside until tonight or tomorrow. I need to tell the truth, but I am not sure how much of the truth you all need to hear. Sometimes it is hard to temper our privacy with my desire to bare all and in this right now, I don't want to hurt Mac or I with what I have to say. Sometimes the truth can be brutal, especially to the people that you love and those that love you. Sometimes I have to weigh the truth against compassion. Sometimes I want very much to protect me too.

It's always so very hard to come here and admit I made a mistake. It's hard enough to accept the guilt I feel in letting Mac down without coming here and knowing that I will disappoint so many here. But I am not perfect, nor is Mac and we make mistakes, some of them huge, and we have to find a way to move on.

Mac has forgiven me and now I have to find a way to move on.

I know I am keeping this closed right now. I may have more to say tomorrow.