Kneeling before Him...
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Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Mac comes home today. I know this for certain now as we exchanged emails last night while He was at the airport waiting for His flight home.
He had asked me to write Him an email a few days ago. It has been our main form of communication while He was away and we found ourselves saying things that needed to be said and as hard as some of the things were for both of us to hear, I think it was good for us. It gave us both time to take things in give them some thought before we replied. But on Saturday when He asked me to write to Him again, I was a little confused. Truth was, I didn't feel I had anything left to say. We had pretty much covered it all and He knew how I was feeling. I asked what He wanted me to write about and He told me that I would think of something. He just wanted me to write.
Mac knew I had been out on Friday night. I had gone out to a party with the accountant friend I worked with for a short while. One of the companies she invests with was having a huge birthday celebration and as she is single and this is a great place to meet upwardly mobile young men as career driven as her as well as older, already extremely successful men, she asked me to be her date. Because I had nothing else on and because the whole evening was free, I thought I would be silly to turn it down. So I went.
Now I have to say that I have a weakness for champagne in more ways than one. I find it very hard to turn down because it is just such a fun drink and it usually only takes two glasses to get me pretty well drunk. (I know. I am a cheap drunk.) So after my second glass I was giggling like a girl and flirting gently with men I had never met before, but with names I recognised as big time money. And I found myself getting rather turned on. See these men oozed power and control and god, I have been craving both so much and of course it was the middle of my ovulation cycle so really it would not have taken much. Then there were more champagne and powerful men and suddenly I was so aware of my clitoris throbbing that I knew I had to come. I excused myself and went to the bathroom and I masturbated to thoughts of sucking on a cock.
If I thought that bringing myself to orgasm would relieve the sexual tension I felt, I was sadly mistaken because it was not long after that I was back in the bathroom doing it again. And again. And again. I couldn't help it. I couldn't get enough and I needed so much more than my own fingers. But I was such a good girl. There is not one man there that could say I was ever even slightly out of line.
Of course Mac didn't know any of this when I spoke to Him on Saturday. He only knew I had been to a party and had a great time. So when He said that I could write whatever came to mind, it was the party that I thought about. I knew it would fill Mac with a jealous lust. I knew it would make His cock throb for me.
He emailed me a reply from the airport last night:
Did you really masturbate during the evening or was that to harden my cock?
To which I immediately replied:
I masturbated through the evening. I needed too. I was so hot and throbbing the whole night.
What followed then were accusations about my whorishness and about how sluttish I had behaved and there were orders to masturbate while we continued to email back and forth. I came when He said that I could. Then there was a plane to catch because He is on His way back to me.
So Mac will be home today. I am excited and I am scared. I am afraid He will want to hurt me, bite me, slap me and mark me as His. I am scared that He will make me reaffirm my submission to Him. I am afraid that He will take control and make me lose myself in Him. But most of all, I am frightened that He won't.
I enticed His jealous lust on purpose because I want it to hurt so good before He loves me.
He keeps telling me I should be careful in letting Him know what I crave because more and more often, He finds that He wants to give it to me.
And waiting for it to happen is the hardest bit.