Kneeling before Him...
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Wednesday, June 22, 2005
One of the most erotic moments I had while still a teenager was with a guy I never ended up sleeping with. When I met Jason at the beginning of high school he was a little butterball of a boy and always in trouble because other boys always picked on him. He was always the butt of their jokes and constantly teased because he was so heavy. He was bright though, very smart and in our science class I often teamed up with him because no one else would. I had no issues working with someone that would do his share of the work and would help get us a good grade.
Then the year when the majority of us turned 16 he left for break a butterball of a boy and come back a gorgeous young man. I mean really gorgeous. He had spent the whole of break eating right and losing weight and running everywhere. He told me that he got tired of no one ever seeing him and decided to do something about it. And my god, it bloody well worked. Suddenly he was one of the most in demand guys in the school. We never got to partner up again. I didn't begrudge him his new found popularity, I was actually happy for him because I knew that he was a really nice guy.
He and I stayed friends the whole way through school and for last couple of years our relationship became one of mutual attraction. The sexual frisson between us was huge. Friends of both of us would tell us to just hurry up and get it over with because they couldn't stand to watch, but I think we both enjoyed it just the way it was. He had girlfriends, I had guys I was interested in and it turned out there was just not a right time for us, though I think we would have devoured each other on many occasions had there not been others around.
When I turned 18 school was already over, so I decided to give myself a rather large birthday party on a weekend that my parents were away so that I could see the people I liked one last time. I think I ended up with about 40 teenagers there. Jason came and he looked good except for the girl that he had hanging off his arm. She was a few years younger than us and had a reputation for being easy and she was not exactly intelligent. (Sometimes I can be kind.)
Although I spent most of the night ignoring the two of them, Jason and I had a moment alone together in the kitchen about mid way through the party. We were looking out the window at his very drunk girlfriend hanging off another guy. I screwed my nose up at Jason and asked what on earth was he thinking being with her and he said he didn't have to think. She just took care of things for him. I shook my head and walked away in disgust and he called out that I was just upset because I wasn't getting laid. It had actually been a while and it pissed me off that he knew it, so I turned around and poked my tongue out at him. He laughed and went to pry his girlfriend away.
Later, after everyone had consumed much more alcohol, one of my good friends (who was 7 months pregnant) came to me and said she had misplaced her boyfriend (the dad-to-be). A quick search of the garden didn't turn up anyone so a couple of girls started looking in the cars out the front while I double-checked the darker areas of the garden. I actually thought he had probably passed out somewhere. He had been drinking pretty heavily. I didn't find him and was heading back towards the door inside when Jason came out. He asked if I had seen his girlfriend and suddenly the air was thick with impending doom.
I told Jason of the missing father-to-be and Jason sighed and told me sometimes this girl was more trouble than she was worth and I told him that's what he gets for dating sluts. He laughed then admonished me for being nasty and I said that I just didn't want my mother-to-be friend to get hurt.
Then Jason said he had not given me a birthday kiss and I frowned at him and pointed out that his girlfriend was probably fucking this soon to be dad and we needed to find them before anyone else did. This was not the time to be worried about kisses. He smiled and said that we were alone. It seemed like the perfect time to him. I shook my head and started past him and he put out his arm to block my way.
"Sarah" he said, "it is just a little birthday kiss. I bet no one has kissed you today."
And I wanted it. I wanted to be kissed by him. He was gorgeous and smart and he had always made me laugh. He was half a foot taller than me and his shoulders were twice as wide as mine and I wanted him to just hold on to me. I looked up at him and we were standing so close, it would have been so easy just to let him kiss my cheek, but I couldn't do it. I just couldn't let it happen like that so I turned and put my arms around his neck. It was all he needed from me.
What started out as a soft sensual kiss turned into something much more intense. I ended up with my back to the wall and his leg between mine, his thigh pressed against my groin. I could feel His erection against my hip. His lips were pressing roughly against mine and He was using his tongue to rape my mouth. All I could do was hang on to him and whimper while he took possession of me. God how much I wanted to give in.
When he finally let go of me I could hardly breathe and I was grateful that the wall was behind me to hold me up. A friend came racing out of the back door and stopped and looked at us both in shock before telling us that Jason's girlfriend had been found with the father-to-be and the mother-to-be was crying in my bedroom and swearing that she wasn't going home with him.
I told Jason he had better take his girlfriend home and he said that he would and he asked if he should come back. I wanted so much to say yes but I knew that I already had a drama on my hands. Jason being there would just complicate things and I didn't want to be a one-night fuck. I shook my head. He nodded and told me he would give me a call in a few days. I smiled at him, but somehow knew he wouldn't. Perhaps it was because of his passion for girls that didn't make him think. He wasn't ready for someone that would.
It was not long after that I left for university. I heard somewhere that Jason had become a policeman. I have never seen nor heard from him since that night.
But sometimes when I walk out into my parent's backyard, I can't help but smile at the little piece of wall that had held me up.
Sometimes, a kiss is all it takes.