Kneeling before Him...
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Saturday was a day of rest, sort of. Mac was out all day with one of the big bosses from Europe. He only came home to change for dinner. I was not invited and I didn't expect to be. The boss was here without his wife and that meant dinner was business and I would have just been bored if I was there. I could think of other things I would prefer to do with my evening, like a hot bath, a good book and an early night.
That didn't mean we wasted the day. I had plans to see a movie with a friend and Mac told me He expected me to be wearing the clip on my clitoris while I was out. I was not to be unowned at any time. I sent Him a text message as I slipped the clip on, telling Him that I was obeying Him. His reply simply said: "Good girl. You belong to me." It made my knees weaken and my eyes moisten. He had me so completely caught up in Him.
When I arrived home I sent another message telling Him that I ached with loving Him. He sent a reply saying that my clitoris was probably aching too and I was to move the clips to my nipples. I did then I sent a message telling Him I had.
Later when I was too scared to move because of the ache in my breasts, I sent Him another message telling Him how much they hurt. His reply asked if I loved it. I told Him I did. Then much to my surprise He told me to get three pieces of ice, one to insert inside me and the other two for my nipples. Once the ice was melted I was to do it again. My throat was thick with lust at the thought of it. We have never really played with ice much at all, mainly because sex between us is usually done with things on hand and ice has never been handy, I think. Or maybe it was just because we have never thought of it before. It was quite a shock to me and I obeyed with that ache in my throat that cold brings. I messaged Him when I was finished telling Him that my panties were soaked with both the melted ice and my juices. He replied that I was to keep the wet panties on until He was home. He was going to be a couple of hours at least and I found that the wetness of my panties kept me feeling owned by Him now that the clips were too painful to wear.
"God," He said as He kissed me hello when He came home to change, "it feels as though I have been fucking you all day."
He told me that He had very little time but that if we hurried we could fuck before He had to leave, but I told Him it was ok, we could wait and He seemed just a tiny bit relieved. I could see He was under some pressure and even though I knew we would both enjoy it, I didn't want it to be something He felt He had to fit in, or something He regretted later when He was tired. So instead, Mac got ready as quickly as He could and then sat with me on the couch and we snuggled and kissed and He had me all loving and gurgle-ly warm by the time He had to leave.
As He was walking out the door I told Him He could wake me when He got home if He was in the mood. He grinned at me and said that He would rather wait until tomorrow.
"Tomorrow?" I asked. "Why? What are we doing tomorrow?"
"Well," He said, "tomorrow we should fuck a lot, don't you think?"
"That sounds like a good plan." I said and smiled at Him.
"God, you are utterly adorable." He said and He left.
And I suddenly knew that everything we had done this week, the roughness, the love, the clips, even the rejection of those two women and this day of being apart was leading us to Sunday. Whatever was to happen I knew it was going to be big. I was deeper in submission to Him than I had ever been. I had denied Him nothing. I had opened myself to Him fully, gave up all rights to my heart and my mind. I was His utterly and completely and I wasn't even scared. I felt safe. I felt at peace. I felt like I had found my way home and it was better than I had remembered it being.
It seemed as though each day I grew in confidence. I became more and more of a smartass, so much so that Mac would often look at me in surprise before bursting into laughter at the things coming out of my mouth. I became His sassy little bitch. I laughed more and made Him laugh more. I was able to accept His teasing without worrying it had an undertone of truth to it. I was able to do some teasing of my own. I became dirtier, wickeder in my messages, filthier in my suggestions in bed. I opened my dress to Him in public. I offered Him my bare breasts without even a glance to see who was around. I didn't care. I just wanted to please Him and everyone else and everything else was secondary. I know Mac gave just as much. He sent me very sexual text messages while He was in meetings. People stopped and waited believing He was answering urgent business messages. He left a meeting to come home and fuck me. He surprised me with gentleness and made me ache with roughness. We were both more affectionate with each other in public. We were both more affectionate with each other in private. Our need to be connected to each other was stronger than it has ever been. Neither of us tried to pull away. Neither of us wanted to. This was exactly where we should be. This is where I belong.
Yet I knew that on Sunday, somehow, Mac and I would make it more.