Kneeling before Him...
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Friday, June 10, 2005
Yesterday I sent Mac a text message after I had blogged. I felt a need to reach out to Him. I knew He was working and would be pissy with me but I couldn't help myself. I kept it short and sweet. I asked if His cock missed me yet.
His reply was a little longer. He told me to shut up as He was busy and He would let me know when He wanted to use me. I grinned and didn't send any more. He had said enough to keep me happy for a while.
It was a few hours before He called. He was still pretty busy and had a few more hours before He could make it home, but He wanted me to feel owned.
While He was away, I had mentioned to Him that the clip was sitting unused and that even though it was probably good that He and I had taken a break from it when He was home and we couldn't take our hands off each other, I thought that while He was away it could become effective in making me feel owned. After all that was what we had it for. He agreed, but it was hard to get into a rhythm with it. It was stop/start because we could never be sure when we would get through to each other and I guess because it had gone unused for so long, I didn't really feel like it belonged to Mac. Since He has been home we have been using it a little more. He puts it on me. He takes it off. He tells me over and over again that it is His, I am not to touch it without His order. He made me wear it until it grew uncomfortable, then longer than that, making sure that I would still feel tender after I took it off. That love/hate relationship I have with it has grown again.
Also while He was away, I thought it would be a good idea to get clips for my nipples. I have no clue WHY I thought it would be a good idea, but I saw this pack of a dozen cute coloured little clips in a warehouse type store and suddenly I was happily buying them. They don't have much pinch to them, they are just remarkably uncomfortable and it is very hard to forget they are there. Mac has had a wonderful time finding other places to put them.
So when He called He told me to get the clips. I was to wear the clip on my clitoris for twenty minutes, then take it off and place two clips on my nipples for twenty minutes. When I removed those, I was to put the nipple clips on my labia for a further twenty minutes and I was to repeat this cycle until He got home. He said that I should come as often as I could when I changed. I reminded Him that He had said 'hours' before He would be home and I would be exhausted by the time He got here. He told me to stop fucking whining and do as I was told. I started giggling and was told I was a sassy little bitch and that He adored me.
He hung up the phone.
At first I thought it would be simple. Just twenty minutes at a time can hardly hurt especially with a 40-minute break before the clips were back in the same place. At first I was right, but as the clock went around for the third time, I was feeling a little tender. By the fourth hour, I was looking forward to each change with nervous anticipation. It hurt, just enough, both taking the clips off and putting them back on. I was tender, very tender and I was moving around carefully.
He called again while the clips were on my labia for the fourth time. He was in the car, still five minutes from home. He told me to remove the clips I had on and to place the clip on my clitoris and lay on the bed with my tits out and my cunt exposed. I did as I was told. He ordered me to shove three fingers inside me and He listened to me groan as I did. Then He told me to clench down tight on my fingers and when I had obeyed He asked if I wanted my fingers to be His cock. I told Him that I did. He told me He was home and I should wait for Him exactly where I was. I didn't move at all.
He was inside the bedroom about a minute later and I still had my fingers shoved deep inside of me. He told me to take them out and suck them clean. He undressed while I did. Then He climbed across the bed and ever so carefully took the clip from my clitoris. He caressed my clitoris gently with His finger, just enough pressure to make it feel oh so good. My heart raced and my body tensed.
"Sarah," He whispered, "do you know how much I love you? Do you have any idea at all? I love your cunt. I love your tits. I love your hands and your slutty little mouth. I love the way you want so much to please me. I love the way your body reacts to me. I love that you just can't help yourself when I am around. I love that you love me. I love that you need me. I love that you are mine."
I tried to reach for Him but He shook His head and just kept His finger circling my clitoris. "I love you too." I gasped.
"Shhhhh." He said softly. "I have been thinking about you all day, knowing that you were feeling my clips, knowing that every move you made was causing you to think about me, knowing that you could hardly take your eyes off the clock, waiting for the next change, then the next and again. I could almost feel you tremble as you removed the clips, almost taste your excitement. God Sarah, you are so beautiful. I love you. You are mine. You belong to me. I just love you Sarah. I just love you."
I came, whimpering and moaning, panting at the effort it took. My body shuddered and my hands wrenched tightly at the duvet beneath me, pulling it from the edges of the bed. Mac said nothing, just watched and listened and kept a gentle pressure on my clitoris until I jerked and pulled away from Him. Immediately I stretched out my leg and found His thigh with my foot. I needed contact with Him. He stroked my ankle. I think He understood.
When I looked at Him He was still watching me and the intensity of His gaze made me blush. He smiled softly.
"Sarah," He said gently, "that was my orgasm. Do you understand? It wasn't yours. It was my orgasm and it belonged to me."
And I wanted to tell Him that all of my orgasms belong to Him but I understood what He meant. He hadn't given it to me and I hadn't given it to Him. He meant that He had taken it because it was something He wanted, not because it was something I wanted to give. It was His.
"Yes." I said. "I understand."
"Good girl." He whispered. Then He shifted on the bed. "Sarah," He kissed my tummy just above my navel, "I need to come now." He kissed between my breasts. "Do you think you could make me come?"
"Yes." I moaned softly as He kissed my neck.
"Do you want to make me come Sarah?"
And god, I was looking up at Him and I was so full of love and lust and need. I wanted Him so badly I thought I might burst with it. I wanted to please Him so desperately I thought my heart might stop if He wasn't spurting inside me straight away. My legs wrapped themselves around His waist. My fingers entwined themselves into His hair. I pulled His lips closer to mine.
"Yes." I breathed and then I kissed His mouth for the longest time. I sucked on His tongue and He grunted. His cock slid along my wetness twice before finding it's way inside of me. I would have helped by guiding Him, but I didn't want to let His mouth slip away from me. I needed to kiss Him constantly.
It was gentle and it was loving and He had been thinking about me all day so it wasn't long before I felt Him start to tense.
"Sarah," He moaned, "come with me baby." So I tilted my hips just a little more and made sure that His cock was pressing into the right spot. He came first, but His orgasm tipped me over the edge and I held onto Him tightly while my muscles sucked at Him. It was so beautiful.
When His orgasm had subsided, He kissed my eyes and the tip of my nose and then my lips.
"You are just so beautiful." He said and my pussy contracted involuntarily and Mac groaned and grimaced. I held His face between my hands.
"Christ." He said. "Sometimes, I think I am finished, then you clench on me and my cock pulses so hard it makes me spurt just a little more."
"Mmmm," I said and shivered. It was such an utterly delicious thing to be told.
Mac grinned at me and kissed me again and He stayed over me letting me feel the weight of Him. I didn't want to move. I just wanted to hold onto Him.
I had not known what to expect from Him when He came into the bedroom, but I know I was not expecting that. I was high on the anticipation of all the rough sex that He and I have shared over the past few days. We have been so greedy, so desperate to take all we could get that there wasn't much time for gentleness. I have lusted Him so much that it has needed to be sated before I could think about holding Him and by then, neither of us has felt the need to come again. Yesterday Mac somehow made that change. Suddenly it was all about the love and the lust was secondary. I had forgotten that Mac and I could love each other like this. I had forgotten that we do love each other this way. I had forgotten how utterly and completely, how consuming-ly beautiful it is to be loved just for being exactly who you are.
I couldn't see it, but Mac did. And I love Him even more for that.
Sometimes I just don't have the words to let Him know how I feel.