Kneeling before Him...
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Monday, August 15, 2005
I don't think people always realise the damage that they do to each other and to their relationships. I once had a boyfriend who thought it was the funniest thing in the world to make fun of the noises I made during sex. Now I admit I was loud. I enjoyed sex, still do, and I never let anyone try and guess if I liked it. I was very verbal.
Then there was this guy that used it against me, although to give him credit, he really did think he was being funny. He used to make a noise that sounded like a dying duck grunting and tell everyone that's how I sounded during sex. I told him that I was rather embarrassed by it and he laughed at me and told me to stop being silly and continued to make people laugh at my sexual verbosity.
Perhaps it was my fault, maybe I just failed to see the joke. Everyone else seemed to think it was funny. I just felt invaded by it all, like he was sharing an intimate secret with the world and encouraging people to laugh at our intimacy. This made me feel like I couldn't trust him with who I was, and although it didn't break us up, it was part of the whole that made us go our separate ways. I found myself being constantly on guard against him especially during sex and that made it no fun at all.
Last night Mac told me He had been fantasising about me all day. He said He couldn't get the sound of me sucking on His cock out of His mind. He had had trouble focusing on the things He had to do. I was all He wanted to think about. When He told me I started to giggle at Him.
So He made me squat in front of Him, my tits bared, my panties around my knees. He told me to masturbate and I did. He told me of His fantasy which started with me giggling in girlish delight as I sucked on a penis and moved into me making the noises that Mac loves, the desperate groaning and grunting of enjoyment that I make. When He felt like it, He grabbed my hair and shoved His cock into my mouth.
And there was noise. Lots of it. I grunted and groaned, whimpered and moaned, murmured and sobbed. There were wet slobbery noises as well, made from sucking and licking and an overproduction of saliva to lubricate things. I was more aware of the noises I made and the louder I got, the more desperate my whimpers became, the more Mac swelled in my mouth. In less than two minutes He was coming and He was growling even louder than I was.
It was good sex. It was loud, noisy, and messy and we both enjoyed every second of it. To have Him say not only that He loves the noises that I make, but to share with me the fact that they turn Him on and then to show me just how much frees me to make as much noise as I want to during our sex. It allows me to enjoy Him even more.
I don't have to censor myself around Mac. I don't have to be careful of the things I say and do. I can do the things I want to do because I want to please Him and being me is what pleases Him most. It makes this whole relationship thing such an easy thing to do.