Kneeling before Him...
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Thursday, August 11, 2005
I know that I have not been writing much and I know people are worried that because I am not writing much, something must be wrong. But actually the opposite is true. Mac and I are just so comfortable in this relationship right now that I am finding that I have very little to write about. We have no unresolved issues. I have no anxiety and it just seems silly to write every day that I am happy, Mac is happy and things are going along smoothly.
I will say that it is a strange sort of comfort because Mac is far from a safe option. He has an edge of dangerous about Him that keeps me on my toes. I know that with Him around my life will never be like a favourite pair of slippers. I will never ever be sure what the day will bring. I don't mind living like that with Him because when I need time out of His rush, He is happy just to hold my hand and be my big strong Male for a while. He says that when I go all girly and quiet on Him, it makes Him feel so very protective of me. I like being protected by Him.
I could write about our sex, but the truth is, I can only describe submissive oral sex in a limited amount of ways and well, Mac and I are still caught up in face slapping, hair pulling, cock sucking sex. Neither of us can get enough. No matter how much or when we have it last, we want it again and NOW. (Mac often says it is just me that wants it, but I have noticed that He never complains and never says no.)
We seem to have made some new friends stemming from the girl I met a few weeks back. I have had so much fun getting to know new people and we have made room for them in our lives. I made friends with another woman called Angela who seems to have developed a small crush on both Mac and I and we have both been treading rather carefully around her because she isn't really our type. Mac made me laugh so much in a discussion we had about her when He asked me if I was interested in her at all. I told Him she was quite beautiful, but there was just something about her that I felt uncomfortable about.
"Yeah," He said. "Angela is the type of girl that would wear a huge strap-on to bed and holler 'YE HA' as she fucked you with it."
And while I might not have put it quite that way, He summed it up pretty good. If I wanted to be in bed with someone rough and dominant, I would much rather fuck Mac than another girl. She and I have had a little chat about reasons why it is best she and I just stay friends and she agreed that it would be best, but she still flirts outrageously with me and often asks if I have changed my mind. I don't think she is used to being turned down.
With Mac she is much more subtle. She isn't at all outrageous, just gives Him all of her attention. She remembers everything He says and often mentions things He likes in an effort to impress Him. I am perfectly aware of what she is doing. I should be. It is what I have always done with Mac. I don't get jealous of her. Mac is even less attracted to her than I am. It is pointless getting upset at something out of our control. Mac feels that with Angela it is not so much that she wants us. She just wants us to want her. She wants to be the one saying 'no thankyou' instead of being the one saying 'please?' And Mac says Angela's husband has all the charisma of a damp raincoat on a wet lawn. I think it will be interesting to see how the friendship goes. I am becoming quite the people watcher. I enjoy trying to work out what makes them tick.
Last night I was lying on the couch reading a book with my head resting on Mac's lap. Mac was absently playing with my hair while watching a program on television.
"Hey." He said softly and I looked up at Him questioningly. He crooked His finger and I lifted myself up a bit, thinking that maybe He wanted to get up. Instead He put His hand on my cheek and kissed my lips ever so gently. It felt as though my heart was going to burst.
"I love you." He said.
I kissed Him again. "I love You too." I said. I was feeling very soft and girly and very much in love.
"Good." He said. "Now that's enough of that girly stuff! Can't you see I am trying to watch television?"
I grinned at Him and lay back down on His lap.
God how I love being His girl.