Kneeling before Him...

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Monday, August 01, 2005

Things are kind of quiet around here. Mac and I are enjoying lots of really rough sex that usually ends with me sucking Him to orgasm then curling up in His arms and adoring Him for a while. We spend a lot of time laughing with each other and a lot of time loving each other. We talk about anything and everything, and both of us are taking great delight in my submission to Him. I am happy. This is not something I have had much experience with, this extended period of contentment. I seem to have stopped looking for something wrong with us.

Of course I still pout sometimes when I don't get my own way and of course He just verbally smacks me in the mouth and reminds me that getting my own way is not something I always want. He is right. If He always let me make the decisions around here I would hate it. Sometimes He has to make the choices and I have to give in to what He wants so that I feel safe. Everyone needs boundaries and being told no gives me a place to stop. Being told no lets me know He cares about what I do.

The wedding is moving along steadily. It's already August which is a little frightening. It feels like we celebrated Christmas just last week. My mother keeps telling me that time moves faster the older you get and I am scared of what it will be like 10 years from now as it already seems to be speeding past me. I thought that Mac and I would be much more stressed then we are about this whole wedding thing. I thought it would be a strain, but, every time it starts to head that way I remind myself that the wedding is just the party, the marriage is the important thing and in my heart, in my mind, and soul He and I are already so entwined that there is no ceremony that could make it deeper. This is just making official what we both already know. I am His and He is mine. And that puts the wedding back into perspective. It doesn't need to be perfect, the only thing it needs is us.

I keep thinking that I should have more to say, but I just don't, not today. I guess I just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.


Posted by Sarah McBroden at 12:43 pm




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