Kneeling before Him...
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
I complained to Mac that I had nothing to say for the blog.
He said, "The definition of a boring person is not 'someone who has nothing to say'. It's 'someone who has nothing to say... but says it anyway."
I sighed and said He was right. Then I complained that I increasingly have nothing to say.
"Nothing to say? The last blog was longer than War and Peace!"
"Oh, well that was special." I said. "I didn't know that You had read it."
"I did read it." He said. "It amazed me."
I smiled at His amazement and waited eagerly for His praise.
"It was the longest blog in the history of the solar system!" He said.
"Oh." I pouted. "I thought You were going to say it was well written, full of love and understanding with all the knowledge of who I am."
"Well it always is." He said. "No need to keep fucking saying it."
I shook my head at Him.
And then we got to talking about one day last week when I had sent a text message to Him after He had left for work. He had been rather rough with me before He had gone.
My message read: 'Did I tell you that I love you while you were fucking me Witless?'
The capital w on witless occurred because the dictionary on the phone did not recognise witless as a word and I had to insert the word myself and for some reason it always capitalises the first letter when I do that.
When Mac came home later on that day He told me that He had been most insulted by the message I had sent.
"Why?" I asked, concerned and confused about what I had done.
"Well how would you feel if you got a message saying 'Did I tell you that I love you while you were fucking me, Witless?"
It was quite a while before I could explain. I was laughing way too hard.
And the memory of that happening reminded Him of a joke which He felt He had to share with me.
A woman drove into the garage forecourt and told the mechanic that there was something wrong with her car. There was a red light on the dashboard and the care was making a grinding noise.
"Have you checked the oil?" the mechanic asked.
"How on earth could you expect me to do that?" she said rolling her eyes.
"Well how about the dipstick?" he said.
"Oh." She snorted and looked at her sleeping boyfriend slumped beside her. "He has no more fucking idea than I do."
I laughed and kissed Him on the cheek.
"Hey," He said. "You should put this conversation in the blog."
So I did.
Sometimes it's just the everyday things.