Kneeling before Him...
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Friday, September 09, 2005
Our latest sex toy/ownership method is something so very simple, it's a wonder we haven't done it before. I had thought about it, thought about talking to him about it, but in the end I kept quiet about it because it really did feel a little silly. I thought Mac would laugh it off, or maybe not get it, but He grinned at me when I made the suggestion blushingly. He thinks it is brilliant and knowing it is there makes Him smile.
It's a pen, so simple and yet so powerful. They say it is mightier than the sword. A few well written words in just the right places makes me sparkle with being His. Mac is away right now, until at least Saturday, maybe as far away as Monday. The birthday dinner has had to be postponed. I don't mind, these things happen and it has been a long time since He has been away.
So under my right breast is written the words 'i am'. Under the left it says 'His slut'. On my right thigh it says 'His' and my left thigh says 'cunt'. While some would find these words objectifying, thinking that Mac had reduced me to being nothing but sex, I feel completely the opposite about them. Being marked this way just makes me feel very much His.
After the words were written, He told me to kneel on the floor and think about what they meant and I spent the whole time belonging to Him. That's what so much of it is about for me. I like feeling owned, feeling protected and safe. I feel like His greatest possession, the one thing in His life He would give everything for. He told me once, a very long time ago, that if I fall asleep happy at night He has had a successful day. I think of that most nights as I fall asleep. I think of being His and I smile.
I had a very married friend once try to hit on me. I asked him what his wife would think of me sleeping with him. He said to me, 'am I expected to have sex with just one woman for the rest of my life?' I told him that it was a part of his commitment. He said that it was boring and I said that it didn't have to be, excitement is not in a new body but in bringing something new to the bed.
I am one of those women who doesn't believe that the lust has to die. It doesn't. You should get sexier as you know each other better, as secrets about your mind are revealed. The more I know about Mac, the deeper I become entwined, the sexier and more irresistible I find Him to be. It's not magic, it's not because I have a high sex drive or because either of us are experts at it. It's simply because I feel safe enough with Him to share the things that turn me on and He is smart enough to know I will try harder to please Him if He is giving those things to me.
So here I am, marked with some very simple words, a constant reminder that even though He isn't here, I am His.
Don't be afraid to tell your Him something that turns you on.