Kneeling before Him...
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Thursday, November 10, 2005
We started to walk slowly down the aisle. There were many giggles from up ahead and when I looked up and around the bridesmaids, I spied my little pageboy/ring-bearer twirling his little white pillow around like a lasso. Thankfully my mother had sewn plastic rings to the pillow, not trusting my darling nephew to carry the real thing. I giggled. I couldn't help myself. Everyone was giggling.
Then I noticed that people stopped and looked at me and whispered things and I only heard single words as I passed, beautiful, radiant, lovely, sweet, all things that a bride should hear. I smiled to people as they faded into and out of focus and I moved on with my father at my side. I kept glancing up ahead, knowing that at any moment I would see Mac standing there and He would see me.
And then there He was. We looked at each other and god, I thought my heart would burst. He looked so gorgeous in His tux, so utterly beautiful. And He was looking at me like He had never looked at me before. It was almost as if I had bewitched Him. He looked like a man totally and completely in love. I was stunned by the strength of it. It was amazing to have Him look at me with such naked honest love. I wanted to run to Him and throw my arms around Him but all I could do was look back at Him and hope that He could see even half of what I was feeling. It was just so wonderful.
I guess I should take some time now to describe the dress I wore, though I doubt I can do it justice with words. It was perfect. Just what I wanted when I started looking. It was not easy to find and in fact, I had it made for me. The bodice was a corset design with the lacing at the back. The boning held my breasts up without making them appear to be the only part of me. The waist drew in to show my figure off. The skirt attached was full which made my hips balance me properly. The dress went all the way to the floor and the train followed for about a metre behind. All white, all soft and delicate satin, edged in soft French lace. My shoulders were bare. I had a tiara type head piece, or 'my princess crown' as I called it and the veil sat behind it. The layer that turned over and came down over my face reached to about my elbows. At the back it followed the train. I wore my hair out, long ringlet curls halfway down my back. I decided against high heels and wore ballet slippers instead. Mac told me once that whenever He imagined fairies, they had ballet slippers on their feet and it was the perfect time for me to be a fairy princess. I know that this will sound conceited and really I don't mind that it does. I was beautiful, I was radiant and lovely. I had surprised myself when I had seen me. But then, ugly brides are a rarity, I think.
My Dad and I stopped just short of where Mac was standing next to His groomsmen and for a moment nothing was said. Mac and I just stood there completely absorbed in each other. Then the Bishop spoke and Mac and I both looked a little startled, surprised that someone else was there.
He asked who gives this woman and with much pride my father said he did and he handed me over to Mac. And as small as that may seem considering I have lived with Mac for over two years, I felt it very strongly deep inside of me. I was officially leaving one family to create a new one and I reached out and placed my hand in Mac's.
We stepped forward together and with confidence, love, trust and faith we exchanged traditional vows. We had decided not to add anything of our own because we felt this part of the ceremony should not be messed around with. The vows are meant to stand alone. Everything was said in English, except the hymns which we sang in Welsh including the one written by Mac's great great great (we aren't sure how many greats but know there is a few) grandfather, 'I Bob Yn Sydd Fyddlon' and the beautiful 'Cwm Rhonndda' in which every single Welsh male harmonized on during the chorus. I almost wanted to ask them to sing it again.
After exchanging plain bands of gold we were pronounced husband and wife and Mac lifted back the veil expertly. He tucked a hand under my chin and lifted up my face to His and kissed me with such exceptional softness that He stole my breath. Everyone was cheering. When Mac started to pull away I moved in closer and kissed Him again.
"Insatiable." He whispered shaking His head slightly.
I reached up and took His hand in mine. "I am Yours." I whispered back and I grinned.
"Yes." He said and kissed me one more time to calls of 'that's enough!' and 'leave it off' and 'get a room'. We laughed and stopped kissing long enough to fix up the legalities. We were then presented to the guests as Mr and Mrs McBroden and everyone stood and clapped.
I walked back down the aisle on my Husband's arm.
I think I giggled with happiness the whole way.