Kneeling before Him...
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Sunday, December 04, 2005
I had to have some blood tests on Friday. It is no big deal. I am just feeling a little under the weather. It is probably simply nothing more than my body readjusting to life post wedding and post holidays. So they are doing a full range of tests, which included a blood sugar test that involved a complete fast for 12 hours (not even water!) followed by three lots of blood being drawn over two hours and a drink of glucose after the first blood was drawn.
After the test was complete, I knew I should get something to eat, but instead I ran around town picking up Christmas presents for all the nieces and nephews. It was 1pm before I stopped to eat or drink anything other than the glucose they had given me. I hadn't had anything since 9pm the night before.
And by the afternoon, to say I was feeling a little on the fragile side was the understatement of the year. I hyped myself up into a state of readiness to burst into tears. When Mac was a little late in coming home, it was just the trigger I needed. He had to take a client to dinner Friday night and I knew He wouldn't have much time between getting home and having to leave again, so I cried because I wanted Him to hold me and there just wasn't going to be time. It was silly and I knew it was silly, but I couldn't seem to make it stop.
So Mac arrived home to a sobbing wife when He had thought He would be coming home to one still very horny. He was rather surprised when I launched myself at Him and buried my face in His shirt and cried. He asked me what was wrong and upon establishing it was nothing more than an attack of the sobs, He did something very much a Mac thing to do.
He was horny, so He pulled my head back by my hair and bit my neck. Then He kissed me so hard He bruised my lips. His tongue forced its way into my mouth and the pure force of His passion left me somewhat helpless in defence. I just clung to Him.
He put me on the floor and He fucked me, no apologies, no askance of leave, just fast rough fucking. He didn't even bother to fully remove His pants, just pulled them down far enough for His cock to be released. And for my part, I did everything I know He likes, everything that brings on His orgasm faster. I raised my hips and clenched my muscles and wriggled my tongue in His mouth. I tangled my fingers in His hair and I talked a little dirty to Him. (Just a little!) It didn't take either of us long to come at all.
We lay there for a moment, both a little breathless, both feeling a little smug. My hand was now stroking His hair and I was no longer in tears. Mac lifted Himself a little so that He could look at me and He reminded me that He had to go out to dinner and He waited for the floodgates to open again. But they didn't. I was so very pragmatic about it all. I was full of 'of course You have to go, it's work, I understand' Mac kissed me and told me I was a good girl and helped me up off the floor before going to shower and change. I was still very pragmatic about it when He walked out the door.
Once He was gone, I broke down into tears again. I had wanted to be held. I needed it. But there just wasn't time.
When Mac got home that night I was fine again. The tears were long gone and I was lost in trying to make something beautiful come to life on a canvas. Mac kissed me and told me He was just going to check His email before bed. I took that as my queue to clean up for the night.
After I had packed everything away I went to Mac's study to see how much longer He would be and was surprised to find His laptop still in its carry bag on the desk. He hadn't even unpacked it yet. Mac was lying back in His chair, His eyes closed, looking very much like He was asleep. He wasn't though, He heard me come in and He motioned me to Him with His hands without even opening His eyes. I went to Him and climbed into His lap and Mac wrapped His arms around me.
He stroked my hair and told me how beautiful I was and I let Him say it all because I had been wanting nothing more than this all evening. He was very soft and gentle with me. Eventually I told Him that this was what I needed, that I had actually cried again when He had left and He said that instead I had been made take care of my big rough male's cock. I frowned at that because that wasn't really how I felt about it at all.
I had wanted to take care of His cock. I really had. From the moment He bit my neck until we were finished there had been nothing more important to me in the world. If He had stopped to hold me, I would have been a tad miffed, but still that didn't stop me from needing Him to hold me as well.
I tried to explain this to Mac, but He kissed me into silence. "I know, baby." He whispered. "I know." Then we sat there a while longer, just holding and being held until Mac decided that He really couldn't be bothered with emails at all, He just wanted to take me to bed.
And there was a time that I would not have mentioned my tears to Him. I wouldn't have told Him that I did need to be held as well. There was a time not so log ago it would have been my secret and I would never have let on that I had been upset simply because there was nothing either of us could do to change it. But the rules between us have changed and certain lines have shifted. Some of them have been completely erased. I find myself compelled to be honest with Him in ways I never have before, perhaps because with this new intense sexual sharing comes a rawness of feelings and for some reason I expect Him to understand. It doesn't always work as well as this did.
But this was just something I wanted to share.