Kneeling before Him...
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Monday, December 19, 2005
I haven't written for a while. I had some things I needed to get done for the weekend and it kind of consumed me. I was a very stressed little girl. Turns out I needn't have bothered working quite as hard because although everyone was interested in what I had done, although I was told my work was gorgeous, magnificent, eye-catching and detailed, no one was willing to actually purchase the work. This was the whole mood of the market though. No one had much success except the people selling the food. Art makes people hungry, I guess. This was the second time I tried this particular market. I won't be trying it again. I am thinking of going to a less arty more people oriented market next time. I don't charge extreme prices for what I paint, just enough to cover my materials and my time. That puts me in a difficult place as I am often seen as 'cheap' and that means I can't sell to the 'art market'. That doesn't bother me really. I would rather sell to everyday people. They have a tendency to appreciate it more for what it is than what they paid for it. They buy it because it will look good on their wall not for what they may get back for it in the future. I have never wanted my work to be seen as an investment. I just want to paint pretty things.
Anyways, that, along with me being seriously pre-menstrual, pretty much made last week a total write-off. I was pretty horrible to everyone, myself and Mac especially, and Mac rejoiced when my period finally arrived. He said He could finally stop treading on eggshells around me, though I can't work out what eggshells He was treading on. He actually said to me, during my explanation of why I had done something that He disagreed with, 'yes dear'. Now at any time I am likely to hurt Him for saying that. I hate it with a passion. It is as bad as me saying to Him 'nothing', when clearly something is wrong. He was lucky that at that moment all I had in my hand was a sponge. Had it been a knife or a gun, He would have been dead. As it was He copped a look that should have gotten me in deep trouble and I walked away from Him without finishing the conversation. I guess that is where the eggshells did come into it. He decided just to let me go instead of pulling me up for the little things. I apparently hung up on Him rather fast one day, and He decided not to mention that to me either. And I know there was one day when He rang me a couple of times from work and both times I ended the call before He was ready too. I could use the excuse that I was busy, but in truth, I was irritated by what He had called to tell me, so I pushed Him away and got off the phone as quickly as I could which is something I have never done before. I am usually the one that hangs on to Him as long as I can. I have been known to say the most outrageous things to make Him stay on the phone a bit longer. I wish there was more time in our day to spend together. I can't seem to get enough of Him. So it was completely out of character for me to not want to talk to Him.
So Mac did rejoice when my period came. It brought about a complete change of character in me. It also coincided with Mac having a whole day off to spend with me, so I tried to convince Mac that it was the time we spent together that brought about the change. But Mac didn't believe that was it. I can never get him to believe my lies. That day turned into one of complete and utter lust which was quite strange as I usually go through a 'don't touch me' phase on the first day. Instead I spent the day enticing poor Mac's lust and He had come five times before it was through. It would have been more only we spent a large portion of the afternoon at Mac's Grandmother's house, visiting with relatives we won't see at Christmas time. Mac had been forced into two rather draining orgasms before we gone over there and after He had eaten, He snuck off into the conservatory and fell asleep in a chair and I was left to talk to all of His relatives about what married life is like.
I didn't mind it too much. I am used to Him doing that. His Grandmother insists He is just like a puppy, play with Him a little, feed Him well and He will fall asleep. She says He has always been that way. I blushed deeply when she said play with Him, and everyone had a bit of a giggle. I guess everyone just assumes newly weds are addicted to sex. Or perhaps it is in the way we carry ourselves. I know I often feel very sexual of late. Or maybe they were just trying for a reaction from me, one they got, of course.
I was glad He did have a nap though. It gave Him enough energy to orgasm three more times for me. And all five really were my orgasms. I purposefully set out each time to turn Mac on and see if I could make Him come. It wasn't hard, really. I knew that of late my breasts have been a point of fascination for Him so I used that knowledge against Him and made sure they were on display. I teased Him about having them semen streaked and I offered them to Him, taking them from my bra while we kissed. His body responded even though His brain was telling Him He was being manipulated. He didn't try and stop me. He kind of enjoyed it, I think.
So that is pretty much where Mac and I are up to, still madly head over heels in love and lust and enjoying it immensely. Still holding hands and kissing way more than normal people do. This week is all about making sure everything is ready for Christmas. I want it to be a brilliant day.
And I promise I will attempt to write more.