The day before Mac left, He made love to me. He was sitting on the couch when He called me to Him and I came somewhat reluctantly. I was not in the mood for sex. I had not been in the mood for sex for a few days and Mac had been busy with work, so there had not really been much time. I was content just to sleep in His arms so I did not try and seduce Him into something more. He was content to hold me, so it was fine.

I knew He had called me to Him for sex. I could tell by the tone of His voice. So I was reluctant and I pouted just a little when He pulled me onto His lap. He paid no attention to my lack of enthusiasm and kissed me hard and deeply, then pushed me to my knees in front of Him. I sighed as I undid His pants and He cupped my chin.

"Don't look so resigned." He said. And I found myself trying to smile up at Him. I wanted to make Him come. I really did want to. But I didn't want to feel anything. I was happy not feeling Him.

So I undid His pants and He helped me free His cock. It was already hard. I licked it and kissed it and took it into my mouth, but Mac was pulling me away from Him.

"Stand up." He said and I did as I was told. "Take off your top and bra." He lazily stroked His cock as I obeyed. "Now take off your skirt and panties." I pulled both down together and stepped out of them.

He pulled His shirt over His head and kicked off His pants. We were both naked now. He motioned for me to come back to Him and He made me straddle His lap. He kissed me. I kissed Him. For the longest time, all we did was kiss. I could feel His cock press against my belly as His tongue probed into my mouth.

The longer we kissed the more uncomfortable I became. I wanted Him to come right now. I tried to reach between us to touch His cock. I wanted to make sure that He stayed hard and perhaps help His orgasm along. He felt me wriggling about and stopped kissing me to ask what I was doing.

"I was going to jerk You to keep You hard." I whispered.
"Oh Sarah, baby," He almost groaned, "I need nothing to keep me hard when I am kissing you."

He kissed me again then told me to guide His cock inside me. I moaned into Mac's mouth as I did. It didn't last long after that. My breasts were pressed against His chest, our tongues were twisting over each other and His hands were guiding my hips as I ground myself onto Him. He came rather quickly, if He wanted to or not.

He held me there on His lap for a while. We didn't really talk, just spent the time catching our breath. I hadn't come myself, I wanted to, almost did, but I think I was fighting Him. It exhausted me. I found it very draining to be so close to Him. A part of me wanted to push Him away even while the rest of me was holding on tight. I cried and Mac didn't try to make me stop, or ask me what was wrong. He just stroked my hair and held me until I told Him I needed to go make dinner for us.

I can look back at it now and see how confused that I was. I wanted Him but I wanted to push Him away from me. I wanted to be close to Him but didn't want Him to touch me. I wanted His orgasm on my terms. Mac doesn't work that way. I don't really work that way either. I wish now that I had gone to Him willingly and made love to Him so deliciously that He was twisted up inside of me, entwined with me, so that neither of us would have been able to let go. I want that time back so I can hold Him again.

I guess I should have thought about it before He left.

Now I have to wait until He is back to make it right for us again.