Kneeling before Him...
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Sunday, October 01, 2006
6 pound, 3 ounces.
And all three of us are just fine. I have a little scar across my tummy because in spite of all the sex Mac and I had to soften up my cervix it refused to dilate more than three centimetres. So Mac got to hold her before I was awake. He told me that when He took her in his arms, she grabbed a hold of His finger. She might as well have put a death grip on His heart. He is never going to let her go.
As strange as this sounds we did not have a name ready for her. It was going to be Rhiannon up until the last few months. Mac had a run in with a Rhiannon at work. Every day He would come home cursing the woman until we decided that it just wasn't going to be a good name for us. We could not find another name that we both liked. In the end we agreed we would wait and see what the baby looked like before we tried to come up with a name.
When the nurse came to me and I held the baby for the first time, she opened her eyes and frowned at me, giving me very much a "Who the heck are you and what do you want?" type of look. Then she started to cry and the nurse helped me latch her on to my breast. Mac watched us from the edge of the room then came over to kiss me when the nurse had walked away.
"You are so gorgeous." He said. "You have no idea how much I love you." I smiled up at Him and stroked our little one's fine brown hair. "I think we should call her Sarah Jane." He said. I frowned. "We will all call her SJ so that her name is different to yours. EssJay Mcbroden."
"I don't know." I said. I felt odd about naming her after me.
"Ok." He said. "Just think about it, ok?"
"Ok." I said. "I will."
The nurse came back in and asked if we had a name for the baby that she could put on the card for the crib.
"Sarah Jane Mcbroden." Mac said.
"Hey." I frowned. "Don't I get a say in this?"
"You said you don't like choices." He shrugged.
So little Sarah Jane Macbroden, known as SJ, it is.
She is our little princess.
There were many more details, have been many more moments full of love and family but I decided to keep them for just Mac, SJ and I. Special moments that I am keeping in a journal just for us.
I know you will all understand.
Still, I have a baby girl, a daughter and I am a mum and Mac is a dad. Everything is just so much fuller now.