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Monday, October 09, 2006
First I would like to thank you all so much. Mac and I were thrilled to see so many congratulations and welcomes to our little Sarah Jane. It touched our hearts. Thank you.
And now, I would like to say whew. How on earth do all you mum's out there do this? This having a baby thing is hard work! It feels like every time I sit down Sarah Jane is ready for a feed. I can't remember the last time I actually sat still for 20 minutes to do anything other than sleep. I am exhausted and half the time I feel like I am walking around in a sleepy daze. Some days I have woken up to find myself downstairs without any recollection of walking there. My sister tells me that this fades away as the baby starts sleeping through but gosh, some days my body just says enough and it is so hard to wake up when Sarah Jane cries.
Mac is great. I am breastfeeding so I do have to be awake for the feeds, but when He can see that I am just too tired, He will help out by changing Sarah Jane and bringing her to me. I couldn't imagine doing this without His support. My breasts are sore, which can be an issue some nights when I am really tired, but I am determined not to give in to the bottle. My sister says that if I can hang on for six weeks, it gets much better. I think I can do that. I want to do that. I do love that Sarah Jane gets what she needs from me. It feels right, even though it hurts. I want to feed her. It is important to me.
I am learning what I will and won't need when we go out and that is a good thing as on our first outing, we almost packed the whole nursery for a shopping trip. Of course, Sarah Jane slept the whole time and needed nothing (after having to be changed before we even got her in the car because she threw up on herself, and me). Now I am trying to keep it down to what fits inside one baby bag. I have forgotten things, but never actually been caught short. Of course, we are just new at this. I am sure it will happen as time goes on.
Mac and I are finding ourselves extremely close. I go to Him a lot for cuddles. He is happy to give them to me whenever I need. I know that sometimes new fathers can feel left out, but I don't think Mac feels that way. He is very involved, very interested in what Sarah Jane and I do. He spends time watching over us. I think He feels very protective of us. We do manage to have time for just Mac and me when Sarah Jane goes to bed in the evening and I think that is important for both of us. We are still Mac and Sarah and not just the parents of Sarah Jane. We enjoy each other as much as we enjoy her, just in different ways.
I am going to finish up here, mostly because Sarah Jane is due to be awake. She must be, my breasts are starting to leak. So if I don't post this right now, chances are, I won't get back here today.
It all feels very right to me.