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Monday, March 05, 2007
Recently I was present at a bitch-a-thon about men. Well, really it was about husbands in particular. I have mentioned before that these conversations make me uncomfortable, but I think it is worth mentioning it again.
To me it seems women are naturally competitive. One starts with a whine about something thoughtless her husband did and before long everyone has chimed in with the emphasis being on making your husband out to be the less sensitive and most stupid of all. It isn’t pretty and if men ever overheard it, I am sure some would immediately file for divorce.
Often though, it only takes one woman to send the competition in another direction. When friends are whining about how senseless their husbands can be I will quietly say how much I adore my Husband and how wonderful He is to me. I will imply (without actually saying it) that I am so lucky that Mac is not like their men and suddenly, they will change tact and discuss how their husbands are not all that bad after all and compete to have the most thoughtful one instead.
Mostly it is not about what their husband does or does not do, it is just women competing with each other. I just think it is sad that the majority are happy to put their partner down in an effort to ‘win’. It just belittles both people and the relationship when it is done.
So next time, before you partake in a ‘my partner is worse than your partner because…’ conversation, before you say whatever it is you feel a need to say to make your male look like a fool, ask yourself what you would feel if your partner was talking to his mates like that about you. Ask yourself how much it would hurt him to see you making him out to be a complete fool.
If you find that you don’t care what he would feel, then I think it is time to rethink the relationship and possibly it is time to move on. When you don’t respect the person you choose to spend your life with, how can you ever hope to respect yourself?
If you find you do care, then just shut up, or tell everyone about something nice he did instead. Tell them how much you adore him and how much he adores you and just see how long it is before your friends are admitting that their husbands are not so bad.
You will be surprised how much more you will appreciate your partner when he gets home that night.
Reminding yourself of the good times you share does wonders for your soul.