I am feeling a little lost today. I am feeling a little tired and a little on my own. Mac left on Thursday for a business trip. The rest of the weekend looms large and I am not sure what to do with myself. The time between waking and sleeping is a long time with nothing to break it up in between. I miss having Mac coming home to look forward to. I miss having Him to sleep next to. I miss being His.

The night before He left I pounced on Him on the couch. I was being a smart ass, acting all snobby and independent, telling Him I could have whatever I wanted, that He would give to me anything He was told to give. I straddled Him and told Him that I wanted to fuck and that it was not a request, but a demand. I kissed Him and removed His cock from His pants.

Mac just smiled at me then chuckled at me and finally said I was behaving like a freckle faced 11 year old who would stomp her foot if she didn't get her way. I got angry at Him for not taking me seriously and I tried to move away. He grabbed me and wouldn't let me go. When I kept fighting Him He somehow flipped me onto my back and before I really knew what was happening He was laying over me, His legs between my now sore thighs, His cock pressing hard against me. I called Him a selfish arrogant prick and He laughed at me again and asked when I was going to start holding my breath.

Then He kissed me.

And I melted. I am hopeless, I know.

I tried not to, I wanted to keep fighting Him, but He is just so big and strong and so overpowering that my body didn't want to listen to my brain. I was kissing Him back and pushing my hips up to His before He could even try to enter me. I was trying to force Him inside.

He fucked me, almost viciously. I pulled his shirt over His head so I could dig my fingernails into His skin. He grunted when I drew blood. So I dug my nails in a little harder and made Him grunt again. He bit my neck as payback, or simply because He was so caught up in the lust. Coming was a relief, like all the tension I was feeling was pushed out of my body in a rush. Mac's orgasm looked painful, so painful that I kissed His lips softly and told Him it was all right when He was done. He chuckled. "Yes." He said. "Yes it is."

We lay together for a while after that. He was half over me with His hip resting on the couch. I was on my back, kissing, touching, enjoying. Then I felt the need to use Him again. I reached down to cup His balls. He looked at me and asked what I was doing. I just said "Again?"

He asked me why and I knew why I was doing it. I wanted to empty His balls before He left. And I wanted to remind Him of what He had at home waiting for Him. I knew that He would feel a long way away and I didn’t want Him to risk it, risk us on some silly little two bit whore that threw herself at Him in a hotel somewhere. I told Him.

He put His hand on my throat. "I know exactly what I have at home." He said. "I lost interest in fucking other women a long time ago. You fill me with lust and love. I won't betray that." He kissed my lips. "I promise that I won't betray you."

I kissed Him back and then I made Him come inside me again. And again when we had gone to bed. And once more when morning came.

I believe Him when He says He won't betray me. I can see in His eyes that it is true. I know that other women at best can make Him hold a fleeting interest in them. It is usually gone by the time they open their mouth. But still, I am like this before every trip He takes. The urge to make Him come and come and come is almost overpowering. I have to make sure His balls are empty. I need to make sure he knows what He has left behind. I need Him to desire me so much that He aches thinking about me. I need Him to be filled with the need to come home.

Mac says it is a beautiful and very female thing to need her Male to desire her so much. He says that He knows it is manipulative, but knowing why I am doing it only makes Him want me more.

He will be home tomorrow.

Sarah Jane and I both can hardly wait.