Kneeling before Him...
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Friday, June 01, 2007
Humiliation is high on my list of sexual fantasies. All of my fantasies without exception contain some humiliation in them. Mac has always known this about me. But sometimes, the extent to which He will use it against me surprises me.
I have often found swords to be very erotic. When I found a picture online of a woman chained and about to be penetrated by the handle of a sword, my fantasies took on a decidedly chained maiden sword handle fucked tone. As this fantasy progressed and grew, a knife handle took the place of the sword and it became Mac controlling the knife in my mind. And then other household objects worked too.
I always knew that deep down Mac was uncomfortable with the knife idea. I think it holds too much potential for violence. And while He trusts Himself not to let it go too far, He doesn't always trust me. So while I explored these fantasies on my own, Mac stayed true to Himself and didn't go there. I was fine with this, in truth some fantasies always work better just as that, fantasies.
But there was a day when I was in the kitchen and Mac was leaning on the fridge and we were trading smart remarks back and forth. There are times when I can really let my mouth run away with me and this was one of those times. Mac warned me once, but I knew He was just playing so I kept going. So did He. The second time He warned me it came with a sharp slap on the ass that made me jump and whine at Him. He laughed at my whining and He grabbed a wooden spoon and before I could do anything He had slapped it down on my ass. It stung! I turned around to face Him with my hands over my bum and told Him to stop it. He gave me that look, that smug little smartass look that said I will do as I want and you will too. He told me to turn around like a good girl and even while I was shaking my head and saying no, I was turning around and pulling up my skirt to bare my ass to Him.
He hit me again then He pulled my panties down and slid His hand between my legs. I don't know if He was satisfied with what He found or not, but He told me to turn around and He lifted me up onto the kitchen counter. My head was just a little higher than His.
He told me to undo my shirt and bare my breasts and I thought I might know what He had in mind but I wasn't sure. My pulse was racing and my throat was dry and I fumbled with the buttons until I just pulled the shirt over my head in a rush. Mac picked up the spoon and hit me on the breast, not hard enough to really hurt, just hard enough to know He has my full attention. My hands flew up to cover my tits.
"You hit me!" I said somewhat shocked though oddly relieved. I had wanted Him to do it but was so sure that He wouldn't that it was like someone had taken the pressure off me.
"I did." He said. "And I am going to do it again. Take your hands away."
And again I said no as my body said yes and my hands fell away.
Mac hit me again and again. Maybe as few more times as well. I was panting, whimpering, sobbing, and begging Him to stop, then begging Him to do it again. He made me ask for the last few smacks. I swear that I almost died with the shame. But I did ask and He did give them to me. Then He told me to scoot my bottom to the edge of the bench and open my legs wide. I was horrified, terrified that He might hit my pussy with that spoon, but I weakly and wantonly obeyed. He made me lay back on the counter so I couldn’t see what He was doing. I was so scared and so turned on that I could hardly breathe. He smacked the inside of my thighs a couple of times then He turned the spoon around and inserted the handle of the spoon inside of me.
And never in my life have I felt more humiliated. I have never felt more objectified and used. I couldn’t seem to get my mind around it. He was fucking me with the handle of a spoon, the same spoon He had just beaten me with, the spoon I use when I make puddings and desserts. He put His thumb on my clitoris and I arched my back and came, grunting, cursing, begging to both God and Jesus because it felt so huge.
Mac removed the spoon and made me sit up and wrap my legs around Him. He carried me to the table and lay me back on my back at a height where He could fuck me hard. He came inside me quickly.
While we were trying to catch our breath Mac complained to me that His balls were so sticky they were almost dripping and I told Him that was His own fault for filling me with His semen. He said it wasn’t His spunk He was leaking and when I refused to believe Him He made me go over to the counter with Him.
On the counter and leaking from the edge to a tiny little puddle on the floor was what looked like clear egg white. I was embarrassed that I had leaked so much. Mac grinned because He had made me blush. He told me that if He had been in the mood for more He would make get down on the floor and lick it clean. I looked at Him worried that He would and hoping that He might. He bent down and kissed me on the cheek.
"Maybe next time." He said.
Mac later admitted that He was feeling horny and He had just wanted to get me as hot as He could as fast as He could and He saw the spoon as a means to that end.He used the humiliation to make me a wanton whore.
And I am a whore, for Him.