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Friday, June 15, 2007
I wrote a post about taboos and mind fucking then I saw that Amber had said it so much better than I had, so I am not going to post it. You should go read what she has to say!
I have hit a bit of a wall at the moment. Mac is away and I am not even sure what I am feeling anymore. I am going away for a couple of weeks. Sarah Jane and I are heading off to another country with a pregnant friend who didn't want to go alone, but didn't want to not go. Her husband is working, my husband is working, and she has a holiday place over there and we thought why not? The guys will join us on the weekends if it all works out.
So we intend on lazing around doing nothing except indulging Sarah Jane. I am sure she will lap it up and enjoy. I think I will like the company, and getting out of the house for a while will be fun. I know that at the end of it I will enjoy coming home, so it is good to have that change.
I know I am going to miss Mac. I already do miss Mac, but that won't change by sitting here feeling lonely. At least this way I won't be alone. And of course, the shopping will be brilliant. So really there is no reason not to go.
So why am I trying so hard to convince myself?
Everything is so inside out at the moment. There is no continuity from one moment to the next. I can't find my safe happy place so I guess it feels a little like I am running away instead of trying to face up to reality. And I don’t even know what that reality is.
I think the word that sums it all up is blah. Yep. Blah it is. I know, it will all work out for the best. I guess right now it is just as it is meant to be.
While I am gone, you all look after each other and yourselves.
I will be back in two weeks!