Kneeling before Him...
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007
For the past few mornings, well, since some time last week, Mac and I have been enjoying some very intense morning sex. There are reasons for this. At night we have both been too tired, but come morning we are both very horny and much more energetic and we just can't seem to help ourselves. Last week that was fine and over the weekend, god, it was delicious. We would wake, have very loud and messy sex, and then just lay about in each other's arms until Miss Sarah Jane woke up.
Then came this week. I didn't handle it anywhere near as well. It wasn't the sex, I loved that. I mean I really loved that, but afterward Mac would jump out of bed and start running around like a headless chicken saying "I'm late! I'm late" until I started to wonder if He had grown white fur and a fluffy tail. He would jump into the shower while asking if I would make Him tea and toast and He would gulp down the tea and put the toast into His mouth as He was putting on His coat and racing out the door. It was all such a rush that I was lucky that He remembered to kiss me. But then He would be gone.
I would still have some time before Sarah Jane would wake and I kept finding myself on the couch, sobbing uncontrollably. I say that some of it can be put down to pregnancy hormones, but the rest is just plain old past intense sex blues. It was such a high being fucked by Him like that, a really high high. So I had a long way to crash.
We talked about it, though it took a little while for us to understand each other. He thought I was stomping my foot and saying "You don't spend all your time with me!" I thought He was saying "Look Sarah, be happy with what you get." What we were really saying is "I get sad when you are not around after we have had sex with such intensity" and "Babe, I would love to be around, but I am so busy at work, I really can't be late."
So last night Mac said that there would be no sex this morning. He said that He didn't want me crying on the couch. He wouldn't allow it to happen again. I scowled, but He gave me that look that told me the matter was not open for discussion. I beat my pillow up and went to sleep.
And as usually happens when I am told that I can't have sex, I want it more than anything. I woke so horny that there was already a throbbing in my clitoris. I must have been dreaming about sex. Mac was sleeping like a baby, obviously unaffected by it all. I lay there, willing Him to wake, hoping that He would change His mind and knowing that He wouldn't when I decided to do what any self respecting submissive woman would do when told she could not have sex. I climbed out of bed and walked around it. I knelt on the floor beside Him and I woke Him up and begged. I honest to god with all my heart begged Him to fuck me. I asked Him in the most polite and desperate of ways. I told Him that I would be ok if He would just fuck me witless. I explained that I NEEDED it.
Mac frowned at me. He had been trying somewhat unsuccessful to get me to ask Him for sex for the past four mornings in a row. Every morning He had resorted to making me repeat after Him. "Master, will you please fuck this girl hard and rough?" Every morning, I would blush and hide behind my hair and say the words only after He had said them. Yet here I was, on my knees on the floor begging for the exact same thing without prompting. All it took was for Him to say no.
"Please?" I pleaded. "Please?"
He did give in and drag me into bed with Him. He made a dirty little whore out of me. I had my legs wrapped around His back and I was praying to god that He never stopped fucking me this way. I might have lost my ability to speak at one point. I never ever wanted to come down. But I had to. Mac had to go to work. He climbed out of bed and I got ready for His order of tea and toast. But He didn't ask for it. Instead He told me to stay in bed and keep masturbating. He wanted me to masturbate and come until He told me to stop. He told me that there would be no tears today and He got into the shower while I obeyed. I came while He was in the shower and again when He was back in the room getting dressed. He made me keep masturbating until He was almost ready to go. When He said I could stop I told Him I was absolutely bursting to pee. He told me that I couldn't until I had knelt for ten minutes. I looked at Him like He was insane. I am pregnant for goodness sake. I had slept all night. My bladder was dangerously full before we had sex and now it was at popping point. I complained. He stood firm, ten minutes and not a second before. The longer I took to get on my knees the longer it would be before I could go. He kissed me and said He had to go. He reminded me again. Ten full complete minutes. He said I could text Him when the ten minutes were up. The longest ten minutes of my life.
It worked. As simple and silly as it sounds, it worked perfectly. I am feeling so good today it should be illegal. I guess that a part of it was needing to know that He doesn't stop being my One just because He walks out the door. We are still Mac and Sarah, owner and owned. I still have to obey, even when I don't want to, because I don't get to choose when I submit and when I don't. I still belong to Him no matter where He is. If He decides that I won't use the bathroom unless He says I can, then that is the way it will be.
The tighter He holds on to me, the freer I feel.
It's strange how it works that way.